Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I want to recommend a book to all of you who still have hope of saving your marriage. Even if there is infidelity involved, you may still be able to save it.
The book is called "Love must be Tough", by Dr. James Dobson. I've already recommended this book to a few of you and I feel maybe there are more who could benefit.
My therapist recommended it to me and I'm reading it for the second time just to get a better understanding of Dr. Dobson's concept.
Basically is states if you want your spouse to come back then "open the cage door and set them free". I know it sounds like the opposite of what you should do, but he explains how this concept works in great detail in the book.
Don't expect instant results like I did. I thought OK I'll give him this letter and he'll say "no, I don't want this". It didn't work that way so I'm going to try it again. Maybe it will work and maybe it won't but I'm all for trying whatever I can to save my marriage. If you are too, get this book from your local library and see if it can help your marriage.
Keep us posted if you try it and let all the DS members know the results. Best wishes to all of you.
The book is called "Love must be Tough", by Dr. James Dobson. I've already recommended this book to a few of you and I feel maybe there are more who could benefit.
My therapist recommended it to me and I'm reading it for the second time just to get a better understanding of Dr. Dobson's concept.
Basically is states if you want your spouse to come back then "open the cage door and set them free". I know it sounds like the opposite of what you should do, but he explains how this concept works in great detail in the book.
Don't expect instant results like I did. I thought OK I'll give him this letter and he'll say "no, I don't want this". It didn't work that way so I'm going to try it again. Maybe it will work and maybe it won't but I'm all for trying whatever I can to save my marriage. If you are too, get this book from your local library and see if it can help your marriage.
Keep us posted if you try it and let all the DS members know the results. Best wishes to all of you.
There was a reason your husband started looking elsewhere for what he needed. If your marriage was strong he wouldn't have strayed. Everyone usually states that "lack of communication" was the problem, but Dr. Dobson thinks that the breakdown of respect is the main reason that most spouses "fall out of love". I know it was for me.
This book gives you an insight as to how to get back and rebuild the respect from your husband. And Dr. Dobson insists that it starts with "letting him go" and standing on your own two feet as if you don't need him.
He doesn't guarantee that this method will work 100% of the time, but through his experience he finds it works quite often. What have you got to lose at this point.
Didn't work here but now I just know for sure I don't want him back.