I too worked a lot of my emotions out in my car..lol...its a pretty safe place to do it. I would cry, scream and swear up a blue streak...lol...and it always felt really good afterwards....it was like purging.

I think it is totally normal as I experienced all those symptoms too for quite awhile. Then I felt OK. Now, a year post-shocking separation, I am experiencing anxiety again. It is such an uncomfortable feeling. I have my grandson with me now - he slept over last night - and I am having a difficult time being relaxed and enjoying him as I usually do. I have to pretend I am so happy with all of my family - especially my children because if I am having a rough time they perceive it as me "blaming" their father for my unhappiness and they love him so much and don't want me to share my feelings with them. It is hard, goldengirl, for sure but you need to share your feelings with a "safe" person who understands you. Thankfully, I have a best friend for 30 years who also was divorced about 10 years ago and she has the patience of a saint with me. I hope you have someone too.
Hugs,
Donna

I think it's the ongoing UNCERTAINTY that is causing me the anxiety I feel. The PRESENT uncertainties - will we arrive at a decent settlement, is my attorney on top of things(she insists that the payment of alimony is a court order and he won't stop paying….but then I read your stories and I know that's not always true), have we considered all options thoroughly enough, am I going to get screwed in some way by my sneaky, underhanded H, is there something major that I'll need in the future that I have forgotten to include in the agreement and on and on and on. The FUTURE uncertainties….will I have enough, will I have enough to cover any health issues that arise, will my H lose his job and not be able to pay alimony and on and on and on. It just unrelenting….I know that I will find the answers to some of these questions soon and that will help but does the anxiety ever really go away? Ugh. Hate this process.

I had all the usual physical symptoms: loss of appetite, anxiety, achy muscles and joints, insomnia, you name it. My doctor prescribed Meds to help and I just had to make myself eat, take walks, etc.

Yes, the uncertainties are the worst, you're right! Not knowing what the future will hold, what you might need. I for one could NEVER have imagined that I'd suffer from long term unemployment! I have a loving boyfriend but...not job! I imagined that it would be the other way around. I'd have a great job, be settled and...maybe THEN I'd meet someone.

Life is NOT predictable! Look at it this way...you didn't know what was around the corner anymore when you were married then you do now! You can't let the uncertainties freeze you out from making a decision in the here and now!

Before, when we had our spouses sitting on the sofa or across the table from us, we trusted their opinions. We (well, most of us maybe!) didn't have to 'go it' alone. Those days are over. I think maybe that itself is the hardest part. We have to own these decisions all by ourself! Will we make a mistake? Maybe? Do the right thing? Maybe not....it's really, really tough to go it alone in terms of making these huge life decisions.

Look at at this way. You've hired a professional who's been through LOTS of divorces. Your lawyer is not emotionally involved and has every reason to give you the best advice possible. But he doesn't "know" your ex. S(he) only knows what you share. So make sure to reveal as much as possible that might impact your settlement. And don't be afraid to express what your fears are in your legal meetings. It might have some impact.

In the end, you'll have to decide. Weigh your options, take in all the advice, and listen to your gut! It rarely steers wrong in my view. Hugs to you as you go through this tough and critically important phase of divorce. You're going to make it!

iammine - agree with all you've said. i have conveyed all my fears, everything I could think of about H and how he behaves, how it's what he doesn't say/provide is where the action is, he is masterful at making it look like he's helping but actually he's not, he's saving himself money. I know him well. He knows just how to wiggle out of his financial responsibilities. He's a master at it. After I told my attorney this, she said, "Now, you've got ME frightened, too." She's listening to me but I think she's not sure what to do either.

Broken hearts hurt. So does stress. I'm sure we've all had physical pains while going through it. It's not fun, that's for sure.

I felt great physical pain that wreaked havoc on my digestive system during the last two years of our marriage.

A few months before I filed for divorce, I finally found a treatment plan for the damage and swore I would stop adding new stresses. The divorce represents less stress to me than trying to deal with his constant criticism and twisting myself in knots to make our marriage work.

As part of my divorce coping plan, my doctor prescribed lavender pills called Lavela WS1265, which relax me.

Yah I'm going for a chest x ray cause I think I'm like dying from something...thought it was just me well i have to rule it out at this point cause I'm thinking its real .........gee never thought maybe it isn't

Chest pain, panic attacks, depression.

Kamary, thank you for sharing the article about rejection and physical symptoms. I always wondered why I feel the pressure on my head and face. It's not really a headache. It feels like my head is being squeezed as if blood is not flowing. After reading your post and the article, it is rejection! It makes sense now that I look back at the triggers and thoughts I have when I feel the sensation in the brain. There is some relief to know that I am not the only one feeling the physical symptoms of divorce.

I'm so glad the article has helped so many. It was an eye-opener to me, too.

love and hugs to all
kamary

Refurb ~ thanks for sharing that great analogy regarding the pain...I agree with everything but the "nuts" part, because I'm female. ;) It's a bone-crushing, numbing, all-consuming pain. I don't know how human beings are expected to endure this kind of emotional and physical pain.