I don't think the tightness in the chest is. For me I just lived at the gym and lost 70lbs. Like you though I am just completely worn out from the divorce.

divorce - her infidelity........no sleep, no eat, knots in stomach, knots in head, i can't believe that i can drive to work and back, it wouldn't surprise to find myself in a snowstorm without clothes

me, it was like a ten pound brick whopping me in the nuts while someone was pulling my heel bones out through my earlobes, while a lot of man of war jellyfish were in a rumble with some Humboldt squid inside of my head, and i can't flinch or show it as i'm packing my kids school lunch and talking about the rest of their day

Oh, I think that might be the worst part, feeling like hell, and hiding that from the daughter. She has no idea how hard all of this has been. Just can't let on at this point.

The symptoms I had during the 1st divorce with my ex were much worse than the 2nd. I remember my chest being so tight I truly thought I was going to have a heart attack. I went to the doc about it...she explained to me that when we suffer an emotional blow like divorce...our hearts hurt and feel heavy because the muscles surrounding the heart contract...that's the pressure you feel...it can be painful when the muscles relax...its similar to labour pain only its centred in the heart rather than the cervics. I found that helpful info and it took away my worry. However...you should talk to your doc about it just in case its something more...Big Hugs...Kathy

Yes, I had similar chest pains, especially after my girls estranged from me. I found out recently that the pain centre in the brain is also the place where rejection is processed, and so we experience physical pain when we feel rejected. So it makes sense that we have the physical pain. However, as Kathy has suggested, it would be wise to have it checked out, just in case.

love and hugs
kamary

This is the link to the article about pain and rejection.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/10-surprising-facts-about-rejection

Weight loss, insomnia and anxiety (which often manifests as tightness in the chest) are all physical manifestations of shock and rejection. Divorce is probably one of the most stressful things a person can go through -- and it's always worse when it comes as a surprise.

That's why all of us long-timers here advise to take good care of yourself and to be gentle with yourself. I had literally walked a hole in my kitchen floor and hadn't slept more than 2 hours at a time when I finally told my doctor what was going on. When I don't get enough sleep, I'm like a baby -- crying at the drop of a hat. A little Lunesta went a long way to restoring sleep and the occasional Xanax when I would have an anxiety attack.

You'll be ok. The whole thing is a process which, unfortunately, we can't speed up. You must take things one day at a time...sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. I'm sending cosmic hugs to you. xoxo

Weight loss, hair loss, lack of sleep, anxiety, stomach aches, and physically being sick were all of my symptoms.

For the first three months I would say it was more of a physical pain than an emotional one.

I had all that when I found out he was cheating. We eventually went to counseling and then he went to rehab. By the time we divorced I was in a much better frame of mind and didn't experience the symptoms as much. (((HUGS)))

And besides the churning stomach, insomnia, sometimes I break into tears at weird times, causing hyperventilating. For instance when riding my bike along a beautiful road, I suddenly am overcome with emotion and choking sobs, Of course you can't just let loose in public, so the attempt to control it, causes my throat to constrict and it's just awful all around.

Cmonge, that happens to me in my car, usually on my long-distance runs. I'll be going along quite calmly, and suddenly the tears start to ooze out at the same time as I get that dragging feeling in the chest. It happened every time I drove during the whole divorce and estrangement time. It still happens occasionally but now it's usually about other sad things. It seems to have become my stress outlet. Before anyone gets worried, I can still drive on our quiet country roads because it's usually a slow crying, and if it gets worse, I always stop by the side of the road until it passes.

It's a little different being in the privacy of my car and riding a bike where all and sundry can see you. ((((big hugs))))

love and hugs
kamary

Kamary, I also had crying fits in my car! It would come on suddenly and I remember gripping the wheel and just gasping for air as I'd start to sob. I wonder why?!

That was in the early days. Of course I cried at home too, and sometimes, in the early days, out shopping even! I'd have to leave stores because I couldn't control myself. And anxiety ...well that was another issue!

Point is, it is more common than NOT goldengirl! Hang in there, the physical symptoms and feelings of being overwhelmed will lessen. You'll gain a renewed energy at some point. Like CGK said, be gentle on yourself, meaning don't push yourself to take on more than necessary and nor should you punish yourself for feeling badly! It's part of the process.

Iammine, I think it's got something to do with the fact that we can drive in 'automatic mind mode' which leaves the rest of our minds to wander about and find the things that we are trying to push down? Anyway that's what I came up with at the time. It only happens when I'm alone. The radio used to be a minefield of old songs which brought back memories. I had to play new cds or education type cds if I wanted to avoid them. I'm not a huge country fan but I found myself playing country cds just so the music would be new!

goldengirl, strong emotions can be a little bit frightening but if you can allow them to happen and work through them each time, allow yourself to really feel them until you're a bit numb, you'll heal more quickly.

love and hugs
kamary

I still do not know how I made it through the first year. Living with him. He caused so much problems, lied so much, calling the police saying that I was threatening him. It was all for naught. He still lost big time. The stress was so great that I could barely sleep. It all boils down to being gentle with ourselves. Slowly peaking around that door and looking at the future straight in the eye. Shouting I am going to survive and I will.

I cried every time I left town to drive home. Sundays were the hardest. Dragging the fields guaranteed that I would be sobbing big crocodile tears. At least I was in my truck pulling the drag across those open fields.