Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

Old issues resurfaced

nohappy
nohappy

I haven't been on for some time because, well, my life has been fulfilling and busy. Still have upsets but last 6 years I thought was winding down. But friends I need advice. 
In last 6 years I've had to move, was blessed with 2 grandsons, worked then health issues hindered working, and managed to overcome all. Newest issue is this: my youngest son (in case all forgot I have 2 sons from 29 year marriage) just had twins!! Awesome I know!  Blessed again. Well the ex has been trying to get into the "grandpa" act. Asking for pics. Playing the caring relative. Sending congratulations. All on fb. Mind you he has only seen the other 2 (ages 2 & 6) exactly 2x's. Hasn't seen younger son in 6 yrs. Lives less than 80 miles away.
Only text on birthday and holidays. Even put something on fb about awesome sons but spelt youngest name wrong. 


ok my issue is I cringe when he comments on fb post. I'm not his friend but of course I see it. I want him to be invisible to them. He doesn't deserve these adorable grandchildren. He's a narcissist who shouldn't be part of their lives. 


help me cope. Please!!!

Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
hugs my friend, First there is nothing you can do. I feel the same way when the ex calls "my" kids or sees "my" granddaughter. I just want to grab them and hide them. It is up to "your" kids to tell him whether or not he can see your grandkids. As for facebook or any other social media, block him. It is not worth the aggravation. If you see him, just smile, turn around and walk away. That is what I do when I have the misfortune of see that ex.
nohappy
nohappy
Thanks friend. My son is on the new parent high. He says “it doesn’t matter mom”. And I won’t voice my opinion so he can enjoy being new daddy. It’s rough though. And yes I’d love to wring his scrawny neck. Lol
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Gee, I have the same feelings, but smiling and walking away is more satisfying than wringing their necks. Just to see the look on their faces when we do that. hehehe. My ex goes a deep shade of red, just waiting for me to say something but not getting that satisfaction. hehehe Your son is right, it does not matter. They know he is a phony. Enjoy being a grandma. hugs
MNMama
MNMama
Congrats on becoming a Grandmom. I agree, nothing you can do except be the best Grandma you can be and trust that your son knows what's what. If all he can come up with is Facebook posts, it's more about making himself feel and look better (in his own mind anyway). It's all about the attention, but if he never moves past that, and he's that close, it's too back for him. Too bad in some ways for the boys. They're starting out life without a real Grandpa.
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