Chrissy, I know this is difficult, butr I am very proud of you! Please take care. Call me if you need to talk, I'm here. You're doing great!

I know just how hard it is.
My exe was in constant contact with me. Not three days would go by and she would find some silly reason to come by or call.
This went on for a year. All the while I had to watch her jump from one guy to another. It certainly didn't help me to know everything that was going on with her, in fact it did alot to keep me unhealthy in so many was I can't describe them all. Thank God now that I have pushed her to no contact and let her know why.

I told her, as long as you stay in contact, somewhere in the back of my head there seems to be an open door. Seems the healing is never whole when you so this.

Gotta fill that void that she left with positive things.

No contact is so vital. It really helps to free you. Then you can go about getting to the business of your new future. It will also force the ex to have a real look at what they lost. And they soemtimes need a reality check. By Staying in contact, it would seem they think they still have a safe place to land. And that is a terrible place to be.

Belive me you are doing the right thing. And with time you will see benefits that you couldn't otherwise.

I wish you well.....

Pgamble, what you said about the "safe place to land" really struck a chord with me. My ex comes by at least twice a week most weeks to see the kids. He is doing a much better job as a parent than he has ever done, but his visits are just as much to see me as to see the kids. I do believe he uses me and the kids as his base. I have long thought that he comes back, fills up on feeling like he is a good person and a family man, then goes on back to his other life with his very young GF. We give him his feeling of respectability. Unfortunately, because I still care about him, it softens me up when he's around and being involved then it hurts like hell when he leaves again. So often when he leaves us, it's straight to her, and I end up feeling used. I kick myself because I know he's got exactly what he wants; he's got his safe "normal" life (he calls me his best friend) and his new life, complete with a younger crowd and no responsibility. I don't think he's EVER had to think about what he's lost because he hasn't lost anything that he really cares about. The parts of me he still wants, he still gets. !!!!! I have been keeping contact easy and open because it's easier on my kids when they see us being friendly and getting along, but this is killing me slowly. I'm going to have to give some serious thought to no contact too. I have read all these posts carefully because I, too, feel better when he's on a trip or something and we have no contact. Thank you for all the good comments, everyone. Even though this wasn't my post originally, they were all thoughts I needed to hear.

My x wanted to be friends and thought the divorce shouldn't keep us from talking, BUT I finally did what was best for me and put an end to the conversations unless it involved something really important about the kids. I knew he wanted to be friends because he wanted the best of both worlds. When he was at work and away from her, he would text or call about something just to get a response. I could always tell she wasn't around. It was hard, but I feel eliminating contact is the best thing if you want to heal. I realized he was no longer a part of my life when he chose to leave me and move in with OW after 23 years. I have emotionally been preparing myself to hear that he is getting married or something, but as each day passes and I reflect on the past and the things he has done to hurt me, I have accepted the fact that if someone loves you they would never put you through that pain. He is not the person I loved and I have finally realized that. I do still have wishes that he gets burnt in the end and feels himself the pain he has inflected, but I guess that is mean that I feel this way. Maybe one day I won't care! Looking forward to that day.