Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
My ex-husband remarried a couple days before Christmas. I have not had any contact for over a year. He broke my heart after 20 years of marriage. As many of you know he slept with his cousins wife. I was a SAHM and sacrificed a career in order to always be there for our children. He never really accepted the kids. I went to every school function, parent teacher conference and every doctor appt. I was the one one who did everything for the kids. I know he worked hard to provide but outside of work he never played with the kids, did any dishes laundry , etc. He did what he wanted to do as he always told me he didn't want the responsibility. I took on that responsibility for man years so my kids wouldn't suffer. So after NO contact by any means, him being married for three weeks this is the text I received today. I am shocked! I never responded! Or should I?
Who comes first the kids or the marriage----This an an article from psychology today. Wouldn't let me copy and paste the article.
Why would he still do this to me!
Who comes first the kids or the marriage----This an an article from psychology today. Wouldn't let me copy and paste the article.
Why would he still do this to me!
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
My ex has floored me in the ridiculous stuff he has said since separation. I would take it like he is really bugged !!! You win !!!.
Ignore your ex's text and go NC as soon as your child turns 18 and not a day later!
He later told me he knew right away he had made a mistake by leaving me....oh well, too late. These men's minds don't work the way ours do. Otherwise, they never could have walked away like they did to begin with.
Ignore him - live your life! He had made his bed - and now he must lay in it. Don't let him into your NEW life that you are building for your kids and yourself! Don't ever look back!
Hugs!
Yes, as hopeless73 wrote. Don't look back and keep facing forward to your new life.
If he felt ignored in the marriage, he had as many opportunities to connect with you as any other young father.
I felt ignored in my marriage because my ex consistently chose to go on bike rides with his mates and work long hours. I was also left to at home to feel like a single mum. There's a difference between doing all the time-consuming things that have to be done when raising a young family, and choosing to be somewhere else. Your ex and mine chose to be somewhere else. They created their own problem. Don't come into the guilt trip. Let him keep on thinking on the issue and he will realise one day that he did it all himself.
love and hugs
kamary
Saying NOTHING says a whole lot more than any words ever could!
Oh, by the way.... "Who comes first, the kids or the marriage?" The answer hasn't changed, I'm sure, it's always been HIM, the great "ME, MYSELF, and I."
So sad and pathetic, feeling he has to ask you, for whatever delusional reason.
You keep on taking care of you and your children. You're doing well.
Wellll....she should send you a thank you note for preparing him and taking care of him for all that time!!! My ex was a narcissist and needed his 30 yr old bartender to "worship"him ...... he married her and is now raising her 3 young children while he basically ignores his own. Wonders never cease!!! He told me that she was "just like you" and wanted all the same things I did... home, family, children,etc and that I would like her if I got to know her...... the level of arrogance and foolishness is astounding sometimes!!!
My ex tries to draw me into a dramatic and emotional exchange often.... I just respond with my specific question...nothing more or less and wait for an answer. And I only respond when it is absolutely required!
Besides... it is easy for him to put his "marriage" first when he is a newlywed, not building a career, life or family!!!! You already did that for him!!!