He should have had you sign a contract. That's the first thing my attorney did before she did anything else. I understand about being distraught---I went back to mine two weeks after signing the contract to have her explain the retainer and billing again.

Sadly with long term marriages ending in divorce, expensive attorney fees are the norm. These divorces are typically more contentious because there are a lot more assets to divide up. Usually one party is trying to get alimony and child support and the other party is trying to minimize that. It can really rack up the billable hours for an attorney. I remember I used up my retainer 8 months into the process and was shocked.

You can speak to him, but it's not likely he will reduce his fee. On the other hand, if he is going to work hard to get you a really good settlement, he's probably worth every penny you're paying.

My attorney was very expensive, but she got me what I wanted so it was worth what I paid.

It's all a matter of perspective.

Sending loads of hugs!

Like hurtin my divorce was expensive. My retainer was 7200 and I used it up real quick. I had to sign my life away to get my atty. Every email was accounted for, phone calls in increments of 15 minutes. Monthly billing.

I made sure he was paid. I will say that because I paid up every month he allowed me to hold off on some payments on the last hearing.

I will also add that if your atty. is sending detailed invoices you need to pay him because you have a good atty. Some of them don't do billing monthly and then you get the sticker shock of a huge bill just before you go to court. The most expensive part of your divorce is being done now. All the emails and gathering info is expensive. That info is telling him how to handle your divorce.

Just to let you know when you do go to court your atty. will probably charge from the time he leaves his office until he gets back. You do get what you pay for.

I get very detailed bill's also.
I wish mine was over because the price tag for it is killing me. I have been forced into borrowing from my father and i hate that, especially at my age i feel i should not need to depend on my fathers help!
But i do think i have a very highly skilled lawyer so i will keep him. I cant afford to not keep him, like some one said on here "divorce is the biggest business deal you may ever make" so i'm not going to scrimp with my future.

Thanks. No, there was no contract and no retainer. I did not even know that was the 'norm'. I first met him in August and I didn't get a bill until February! I guess that's why I had no idea where I was at and got some 'sticker shock' when the bill came!
Oh well, we'll see what comes of it. I'm going to give it my best shot. Am taking a friend to the appt. with me. He is an excellent negotiator and has tons of experience dealing with lawyer, and he has offered to 'negotiate' for me. I'll update you tomorrow!

I dont know what the Code of Professional Responsibility looks like in Canda or any of its provinces, but as an attorney myself, I think your attorney was totally unprofessional in not discussing his fee structure with you up front, and in not having you sign a representation agreement that spelled out not only the fees, but also other things like costs and fees that you would have to bear, the scope of representation, etc.
Its late here in California or I would try to look into the statutes for you, but if you have the energy for it before your meeting, try Googling "Lawyer code of professional ethics" or "lawyer represemtation agreement" or "lawyer duty to disclose fees" ( or any similar combination of key terms) for your jurisdiction (I assume each province has its own statutes, but I don't know that for sure -- maybe in Canada, there's a federal standard?)
Other billing issues -- billing in 15 minute units is pretty standard for many law firms, some bill in 10 minute units, and those like me who do court appointed appellate criminal defense in California bill in tenths of an hour. Whatever the unit, it means you pay for the whole unit as soon as your lawyer reads an email or listens to a voice message, etc, even if it only takes a minute. When you meet with him, make sure to get clarification about his firms billing practices, and then you can be careful about whether you want to shoot off a quick email, or whether there might be more cost-benefit in setting up a short in-person meeting.
One thing I do know from my ( blessedly brief) days of working in a high powered, high prestige law firm is that the clients who scrutinize their bills do much better than those who just write the check. So, don't be squeamish or embarrassed about asking for a detailed billing or just questioning things that seem unreasonable. For instance, if the billing statement says "phone calls" and you think the amount looks excessive, ask for a breakdown of phone calls by date and time. sometimes, just requestig more information will make the firm more amenable to reaching a compromise.
Good luck tomorrow!

Good advice Sarah, thanks!

Mine had me sign a contract immediately. I too sent many emails in the beginning and whaen I got my bill I was horrified. 75.00 per email she responded to. She charges 200.00 per hour and that is double what any other lawyer in town charges. I have to have this lawyer - there is no way around it. I agree that long term marriages/ divorces cost a fortune. I am watching everything I have ever worked for and saved for slip away. My lawyer said that if this goes to trial - it will cost anywhere between 20-40 thousand. He is being so unreasonable I am sure his lawyer never explained this to him. I envy those who just sit down and negotiate fairly and simply - unfortuneately there is a woman here who is pulling his chain and she sees dollor signs and he is too infantile and lured with her cooking and sex abilities to see this. What I have learned - prenuptial is the way to go.

My attorney charged $300/hr. but seemed to be watching out to keep costs down. Her legal assisstants time was only billed at $85/hr. so asking her a question was cheaper. At any rate, it was worth it to get out for me.

As an aside, I personally recommend not to have anything left undone, in both your names, to be done at a later date. My X "refused" to do anything that he promised he would do after the divorce. He told my attorney that he would not do something because "JaMama is being irrational." My attorney assured me I was not irrational. SHe said he is furious because he cannot control you anymore. I was just settig boundaries, healthy ones. Good Luck.

How did it go?

It went quite well. I didn't mention that I was taking a friend with me (father of my son's girlfriend, his wife offered his help to me when we were chatting). Anyway, he is a very successful local businessman who has a great deal of experience with lawyers. My friend did a lot of talking, asking questions about my case and clearly establishing where things are sitting, what my options are etc.

Toward the end of the meeting, he subtlely brought in the fee structure and my lawyer was 100% ready with responses. My case was not 'typical' or 'standard' blah blah blah. My friend was very clear that I have a limited income, not working, am under duress etc. and have limited funds to spend on this settlement. He then introduced the idea of a 'set' fee for the whole file, when completed,and was so smooth about it he had my lawyer saying that he would be willing to discuss this at another time. I was very pleased.

After the meeting, my friend and I stepped outside to strategize next steps e.g. what my next settlement offer might look like and when we would discuss it in detail, and when we parted ways I popped back into the office to use the bathroom. My lawyer was speaking with his assistants, and grinned at me and said that I could 'use the bathroom and he wouldn't even charge me'!

Sarcasm - the language of defeat, or at least compromise!