Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Met with the new attorney yesturday. I have a hearing Friday. My wife is going for custody. So the attorney is putting in that she is unfit. That a drug test is needed. That because the responce she made to my divorce filing States the house is worthless. He is going to request that I get to move back in. So my fingers crossed. I had the cops at the new house last night as we dove up....my heart sank... did she kill herself??did she file something against me???no the neibours complained about my dogs barking. So am in better sports.now that the new attorney is on it. Well I guess her 4th of July will be messes up emotionally. God knows I have and am emotional messed up.
What a scare the cops came about the dogs! Funny thing about dogs barking - apparently there are laws about how long a dog can bark in different areas. My BIL was once met at the door by a very angry neighbour who insisted that "his dog should not be barking more than 5 minutes in the hour"!! LOL.
Yes this 4th July will be a little different for you and her. Roll on next year, hey?
Hugs
Cheryl
Where there is life there is hope! Good luck
I was up and down Today. But not like last week. I am more angry at what she has done and how I could not see this before. If I did my son would be younger and there would be a battle.
So I am grateful he is older.
In my experience, I have found that using the legal system in your favor works wonders. My ex wanted to deal in 'woulda, coulda, shoulda's" and not hard facts. It made it easy to deal with him in court. He felt like just because he said it, it should be so. Nope. There's a little thing called evidence and hard facts.
Good luck in dealing with her. Glad you have a good attorney.
This is the kick off to months of more hell and uncertainy. Maybe I am back in the house, she will be so pissed I dont know if I want to go back. If she looses hope of what she wants , she might attempt again , so I am bracing myself for that and how to handle it with my son.
The custody, seems that it would be hard for her and that he is 16 , so I am not as worried about that situation as much.
10 45 am today so when I get back I will post what happened.
I want to thank you all for the endless support, it has helped so much!
Never make faces, roll your eyes or anything like that, be respectful to the court, it goes a long way.
first
the drug tests is a must , today by 5pm, if she skips out it goes down as guilty or a dirty test. she has to pay for it. If it come back clean I pay for it.
second
the judge looked at her attempt, and asked her if it was true that her son found her on the attempt, she said I sent him in to find her. The judge was saying that is not the answer to the question, she did say yes...But...
The judge wants a mental eveluation, now
third
a social worker is appointed to my son for his story and the judge gave her 2 hrs a week visitation with the son and a 3rd party there. thats it.
the judge did not that if the sons sorty is correct and he sees that harm was done, I will get full custody and he will grant me the house as well.
the house is underwater, but to keep my son at home .near school etc I am willing to take the debt.
She claims I am hinding cars, (which I have sold to make the bills durning her attempt situation) and I have 3 left not valued more that 400 each, I have no funds other than what I have borrowed. So if she agrees to this and those cars are sold, she has 10 days to get out , so we can get in. The oldest sons girlfriend ( the one she cant stand) was there and told her to agree, so now its set for monday at 2;30. My lawer told me that at 2;30 we will discuss the same thing , except he will rule if no discision is made.
He did tell her over and over and over, that she will not get custody and that I will and if that is the case I will get the house and debt with it.
The jude did say that it looks like we both are broke and if there is no money, well... there is no money. sell the furniture..etc. the judge wants this case done in 60 to 90 days from today! faster than I thought.
so I feel, sad and greatful, with a promise of a new begining. Sad to the point that I really did not want to see her get slammed that hard, but on the other hand look at the hell my son and I have gone through.
The oldests girlfriend just posted on face book looking for free legal help from all her drugy and party friends, in hope to win something nobody really knows what is going on.
so over all, a huge relief , a huge weight just lifted and a new prospective on the future. Finiaily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep us posted.
I also have to think that if the tables were turned, she would be smiling and think she got me like last time, glotting at my mis fortune.
So don't be so hard on yourself.....this too shall pass
Take the high road...