Good advice from all. No contact is the way to go. When my ex was involved with the baby fiasco of August 08 (we were still married, he impregnanted the ow, she left him, a mess), he started calling me and needing advice and I started giving it. It is so easy falling back into those caregiver patterns. After three days of his annoying phone calls, I told my sister, "I liked it better when he was mad at me and not talking to me." I went back to no contact.

Now, I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire. He has the life he chose and I've moved on.

No contact is the way to go.

Good advice from all. No contact is the way to go. When my ex was involved with the baby fiasco of August 08 (we were still married, he impregnanted the ow, she left him, a mess), he started calling me and needing advice and I started giving it. It is so easy falling back into those caregiver patterns. After three days of his annoying phone calls, I told my sister, "I liked it better when he was mad at me and not talking to me." I went back to no contact.

Now, I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire. He has the life he chose and I've moved on.

No contact is the way to go.

Wow. I left my computer for the weekend and y'all really came through for me. I am so glad I posted. By the way, I had a great weekend of no contact. Enjoyed being around friends and family!! Thank you so much for the answers. GeoQ - thank you. I have never seen that. I am the principal of an alternative high school. I may do something with that. Wow again. Thank you.

These are some great replies. ESP if it hurts don't do it

How do you get to that point where you are even open to a date, much less a relationship? I don't feel human right now so I guess I just don't see how life will change as far as love goes. It feels like I will never be in a relationship again. And my marriage was 20 years. Some of you were married much longer than me.

After my first divorce I tried dating...it was a disaster. The fellow I met fell in love with me and wanted more...my heart wasnt working yet and I could not return those emotions...I was still in love with my ex and in communication with him. To make a long story short...I broke his heart...big time. To this day I still feel bad about that, he did not deserve that and I had no business dating.

My ex and I got back together and that was a disaster...we divorced again. The 2 things that are different this time from the first divorce is....although I didnt want either divorces...the second one finished things for me. I am done! I have accepted it is over and I have no contact. I still have the odd issue that comes up but..again...with the help from the people here...I get back on track.

When I bought my little house by the ocean I had to get it inspected before buying it. When I met the fellow that did the inspection..it was an immediate attraction. We have been seeing each other ever since. We're taking it slow and are making plans for the future.

I thought my life was over when I was divorced for the second time...I didnt think anyone would be interested in a 54 year old women with an illness that cant be cured. I felt like I was damaged goods. I was soooo wrong. There are wonderful men out there...one's who will truly appreciate, love and care for you. Time is what you need. Work on yourself...put your past relationship where it belongs...in the past. Accept where your at in your life and love what you have. Dont accept crumbs from your ex...believe that you deserve so much more. Kick him to the curb and no contact! As difficult as it is to do...you gain strength from doing it. You need to heal. Hang in there...when your ready you will know...Big Hugs...Kathy