Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

506 Members

7,364 Posts

0 Online

lostwh 12/25/2013

I made it through Christmas Eve, and I actually had a good time had all three boys and their girlfriends and my grandaughter here last night. I'm not much of a cook yet so I ordered a bunch of pizzas and a snack tray and we had pies.We watched movies and talked and had a good time.And of course opened presents. My ex had to call in the middle of everything and tell the boys she changed plans and was having the OM and his kids there when they opened gifts.They were upset because they wanted to spend time with her without the OM there. I told them it was just something they were going to have to learn to deal with and it was between them and their mom. It's hard to see your children suffer because of their own moms selfishness and not be able to do anything about it.I'm going to my siters for Christmas dinner I'm glad she invited me. I hope I can keep a smile on my face and act stronger than I really am at this point.I hope every one has a good Christmas, I just keep remembering what everyone on here tells me that it will get better.

Lori63 12/25/2013

Good job! I know it's hard to see the damage the X is doing, but your reply to them was right (in my opinion).
Glad you had a good time with them.

sciteacher 12/25/2013

So happy for you that you enjoyed Christmas eve. Yes, it is so hard to act stronger than you feel when around others but soon you will feel stronger. I am finally having some good days and although I know I can crash tomorrow I know that the good days will come back again. Continue being the great father that you are!
Hugs,
Donna

trisha9054 12/25/2013

What a wonderful relaxed Christmas Eve you had with your sons.. You all had fun and enjoyed the evening and now you will be eating with family on Christmas day. You've obviously been a great father to your sons and it will get easier with each passing year. Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

countryfan 12/25/2013

I so think that your sons will forever remember the normalcy you are providing for them at this time. It sounds like you had a really good time. You are spending your Christmas with YOUR family and that is the most important thing. You are blessed and stronger than you know.

kamary 12/25/2013

What a lovely day you had! That's my idea of Christmas too.

I think you gave your kids a good answer regarding their mother's lack of sensitivity to them and their needs. Maybe if they were to tell her they want her to themselves, she might understand. It's ultmately out of your hands, though. It is between them.

For my first Christmas waking up alone, I ran away to my sister's place. I drove the 2hrs to get there on Christmas Eve so that I could wake up Christmas morning with family - people who loved me. Then I drove the 2hrs home to have lunch at my daughter's place with my stbx there as well. Sisters are angels in disguise:)

I hope you had a good day and am so happy you enjoyed the day with your kids.

love and hugs
kamary

deleted_user 12/25/2013

I am just glad it is all over- I did have both a nice Christmas eve with my daughter, son in law and new granddaughter- then had the same and my son and his girlfriend and some family friends over today- but had to watch myself- as I would start to tear up- this is the first holiday season separated after 26 years of marriage and I still don't really know how it happened. But tomorrow it is back to work and I am actually glad.

Time4Kim 12/25/2013

I'm so happy for you that you had a wonderful Christmas with your family. You handled the situation with your stbx admirably. That's a big deal, and I hope you are proud of your resolve. You deserve to be.

I hope you have an equally wonderful New Year!

Kind regards,
Kim

lostwh 12/25/2013

I went to my sisters for Christmas Dinner, I'm thankful that they had me over. It was alright, but I couln't help but think of the kids the whole time. I missed them so much and I felt so cheated that because of my ex I couldn't be with my kids on Christmas. I tried to act like my old self I just don't know if that person exist anymore or ever will. I was hoping that after having such a good time last night that Christmas would be easier. I found out that that wasn't the case, I felt like everybody had to walk on eggshells because I was there and were careful what to say around me. I wish I could feel like I have made some kind of permanent progress. I wish this anger I feel would go away.

Join the Conversation