I wish I knew what would happen but I don't. I'm guessing that they could make you sell the home. You said you have two adult children living with you. Are they employed? Could they help you get a loan?

Go to the bank you have always dealt with and talk to them. Also, there are some government sites that try and keep people in their home. I heard about them on the radio but I don't remember the names.

Good luck to you.

My/Our home is for sale now. My ex lives in it. There have been NO calls for it, even though the tax break for new home buyers is in effect till this Spring. The market here is nearly dead, and my realtor said that getting loans right now is more and more difficult. Perhaps if you are continuing the payments, and maintaining the property to suit your ex, he might consider allowing you to continue to live there. Also, do you have a parent or close relative who would be willing to co-sign the loan?...and do you truly have money to pay the new mortgage? Right now I am living in a roomy townhouse style apartment. While the rent is about the same as my house payments were, I have no upkeep...no expenses...and if something breaks, I just call maintenance. .....Think very closely about why you want to continue living there. Speaking as the one who is living outside of the home, if he owns half of the home he is entitled to be compensated. Remember that HOME is where you are...and where your loved ones gather. Don't cripple yourself financially. Best of luck. Know this was a disjointed response, but it is an issue very close to home for me now.

I can afford my home. It's just been a difficult year and I didn't make very good choices. I had to get use to one income, my Dad was very sick and just passed in November. I'm not strapping myself. I could not find an apartment that would be cheaper than my motgage in my area. My son plays the drums and I have a dog. I live in the perfect location. My grandkids love my yard and pool.
so... I want and can afford the house. Both of my parents have passed, so I can't get help from them.
thanks for the responses.

I think I would speak to my divorce attorney and see if there is any way a re-negotiation of the timeline for paying the X his equity is possible. This way, you won't have to deal with the X directly and your attorney might have some important information for you on securing a loan on your own.
Second, I would have a heart to heart talk with your current mortgage holder; in most cases, they want to work with a current customer to keep them in their homes.
If the market is as flat where you are as it seems to be everywhere else then I see no reason why there can't be an extension on this payoff equtiy deal. I'm sure your X wants the maximum possible; if you sell now, both of you will lose money.

I had 6 months after the divorce to secure financing and get the ex off the mortgage. I bought him out of the house by in effect trading out funds from our assets, 401ks. If I did not get off the note, the terms of the divorce said that the house had to be put up for sale and I kept the proceeds, as the house is mine and was deeded to me at divorce. You should read your divorce decree, it should be what the consequences are if you can not refinance or get his name off the mortgage.
I was not working at the time or as they say have earned income, but I have income from maintenance. I also have only a few years left on the mortgage, it is all equity and is worth a lot, I say that because that can determine if they will refinance, how much you owe, what it is worth and if you do not have any 2nd mortgages on the property. You sound like you are trying to get a loan and have been turned down. The best case for you would try and get your current lender to remove him from the note and let you continue to make payments. IF you have substantial equity in the housea fter 17 years, and have not missed any payments, they may do that. You may have to pay a fee to them to redo the paperwork.

That is what I did. I presented all my financial paperwork to the lender, my divorce decree,a copy of all my investments and balances, my maintenence which secured by a life insurance policy on the ex and he is a professional earning a lot that helps as it showed he can pay it to me, the appraisal of the property done during the divorce. I wrote a letter stating that I had been living here alone since may of 07, although he was paying me I had never missed a payment, had been living on less than the income I had now, I was a degreed professional and planned to go back to work to increase my income, and that I suffient funds in accounts if needed I could pay the balance off, though I did not want to. In that package I had everything, the quit claim deed, a copy of everything. I also during the year of the divorce had been in touch with the mortgage officer because when I wanted to buy him out of the house I had to know if I could refinance and if I could qualify, that helped, he had to put my " case" before the bank to approve this. My ex wanted to give me 30 days to refinance, my lawyer said 6 months, it was agreed and believe me, one minute after midnight my ex was on the phone calling his lawyers to file for cause to show contempt against me for not getting him off the note. My lawyer bought me another 60 days, as I was trying to keep the low rate I had and I was looking for a job..

The bank took him off the note, let me keep the low rate, did not charge me anything, no fee's! My lawyer had his lawyer drop the contempt. I sent his lawyer the one page document that showed he had been removed.. I never had any contact with him, I never do anyhow and I let the lawyer do it all. AND I am very fortunate, my lawyer did not charge me anything to talk to his.. I am sure he had to pay! This is part of what I help people with, fixing problems like this.

I reread your post that you are to give him half the equity after I wrote all this.. did you make arrangements to buy him out by trading assets or is this still part of the deal? Is this done yet? IF you can not do this, you may have to sell the house to pay him. You should call your attorney but he is not going to have any magic to get you a note if you have to change lenders and your credit is not that great. You must try and work with your lender to get him off the note, but if you have to pay him you may have not other choice than to sell. I am assuming you are to refinance for another 30, take the equity out and pay him? Check your divorce papers, and see what terms you agreed to. Best to you..

I wanted to add, that is very important that to the rest of you getting divorced, that this is addressed in your divorce in wrting , if you are buying an ex out of the property. I have a client who the house is up for sale and the mortgage is being paid out of a 401k, she was divorced in Oct. They are both bleeding money out of the 401k to pay the monthly payment, her alimony is on hold until the house sells and in this market a 800,000 house, stable and acreage is not moving at all. Not to mention all the hassle if something goes wrong and needs to be fixed.
And I am not admomishing anyone, please, if you have at time frame to get it done, do it, and I am guilty of procrastination, but not for big things. It is easy to not want to deal with things, but you have to.

To add to what Ms Terey said above, I would also advise you to be very specific in your documentation. I am living in an apartment and my ex is living in the house which we both own and are supposedly trying to sell. My lazy attorney did NOT include a date in which we would renegotiate if the house didn't sell (which it hasn't) and there were no stipulations on my ex other than he would keep the place up and maintain the payments. (Note that my rent is the same as the mortgage payment.) He moved his 34yr old girlfriend and her 3 small children into my house and there is nothing I can do. Moving 3 more people into a house CANNOT increase its sale value! Hopefully it CAN help insure that the payment is being made. These are things that you might never expect to happen, but they do. You must think ahead. The equity in this house is the only significant amount of money I will ever see from this 27yr marriage and I should have better protected it.