Based on what I hear through the grapevine, I don't believe my ex is happy now. He is fighting with everyone in his family. He constantly has to validate the skank ho/now wife, and I guess they fight all the time and have even split up a few times.

I'm at the place where I don't care anymore. He chose the life he wanted; guess that grass isn't greener, it's just grass.

This post couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I can't get to the point of indifference either, but it's early yet - 30 years is a long time to be with someone so I have to give myself some slack. I loved him, I was devoted to him and he screwed and tattooed me over and over again.

I still get pissed off and hurt when I hear things. But that's MY doing - not his. I have got to just learn to LET GO of all of this resentment and move on. Funny how we hang on to things isn't it? Just weird.

Practice moving those thoughts over when your having them and practice gratitude for all of the good things that you do have. I do that sometimes and it does help - but sometimes I get sucked into that woe is me feeling and it's hard to get out.

Lucy has it right. They are living a whole life of lies and mostly lying to themselves. I at least am honest. I'm hurt, feel rejected and hate that I allowed him to make me feel unworthy and thrown away....

HOW'S THAT FOR AUTHENTIC???

We'll get there...someday...

I think it is true. My marriage started off badly as a matter of fact. I didn't see the red flags as red flags, I saw oppurtunities to prove I could be a good wife. It ended really badly. Our relationship was built on lies, the lie that he loved or cared about me or wanted to be part of a couple, family. I lied to myself and the world and pretended it wasn't as bad as it was. I lied to myself that I could handle the pain of the loneliness and abuse for my childrens sake. I fought to keep up the facade, it nearly broke me.

X will never be happy. He doesn't want to be. He will find someone else to put on a happy facade with. Now I realize that he demonized all his previous girlfriends, friends with none of them. Made me feel like I would change that for him by being a faithful wife, it wasn't long before he put me on the heap with the rest. Didn't matter what I did it was viewed negatively just like all the other women including his mother. No doubt the next woman will feel special at first until wham, everything changes.

Ditto - Don't worry about what he is doing. Worry about yourself and never overlooking any red flags in the future. You are worth more.

Krkig911. You captured my feelings exactly. I feel so up and down. Big ups that I am moving on then big downs when I start to obsess about why and how. Intellectually i know what i need to do then the emotional gremlins grab me and suck me in I am thankful to be at the beach with family. It is a place to build strength and find clarity. Someone talked about sweeping the bad thoughts away... I like that.