You need to get out and have some cocktails....lol

I DID THAT ON SATURDAY!!! Guess I quit too early. lol

I've had a few dreams about my ex wife not many though. One night/morning I had 2 in a row. We are always broken up in them. One recent one we were gonna reconcile, we were so happy...then I woke up next to my old Cairn Terrier..lol. I remember feeling kind of sad. The last one we fought because she was at my house but had to leave to make dinner and I knew it was for her new boyfriend. I assume its our subconscious just working them out of our minds, trying to make sense of it all. I do know they are uncomfortable and I never feel good afterwards.

I have had dreams with my "wasband" in them and they felt real. I was so glad when I woke up and it wasn't real - lol! We were not together in the dreams, but I wanted to slap him sideways, and up and down in the dreams. When you are with someone for over 20 years, them showing up in your dreams makes sense. It's your subconscious.
:)

I very rarely remember my dreams, but I do distinctly recall having one at some point either during or after the divorce process where I woke up and THOUGHT he was on his side of the bed with me! Yikes! I screamed and hit and kicked at the spot where I thought he was and was shouting, "Get the Hell OUT OF HERE!"

It truly left me rattled, but it was the last time I ever dreamed about him and that's been almost 10 years ago.

I have had a couple of dreams about the ex asshat, but we're never together and once I was punching him. That one was funny. I think it's fairly normal to have dreams about people that are in or used to be in our lives. I like the idea of our subconscious working them out of our minds.

lemaym1.wordpress.com/

I think it's working him out of your system. Dreams are rarely about what will really happen, so I wouldn't worry about that. Your mind is trying to make sense of your mixed emotions.

love and hugs
kamary

The last dream I had about my was about a year ago. In the dream, I remember him hanging out with me and all I could think was "man, I wish he'd leave and quit bugging me."

No feelings of sadness, just annoyance. It was almost like I was worried he'd come back and ruin my peaceful life.

Now that's healing!! :)

I understand how disconcerting your dreams must be to you. I've been having almost nightly dreams about my ex or his family for months now. The weird thing is that during our separation and divorce, and even for many months after the divorce was final, I never dreamed about him once. Now that I'm finally moving on with my life and over the worse of the trauma, I can't seem to stop having these dreams. Most of them are about his family. I do really miss them. So, I guess I understand where that's coming from. But, I've also had a few dreams where we are back together and trying to work on our relationship. While it's true that I miss being in a relationship, I don't want him back. It's quite upsetting when I wake up because I have very vivid dreams. It sometimes takes me the better part of the day to shake off some of them.

I did some research on this to find out why this might be happening. Most of what I found suggests that dreams are not usually to be taken literally. When you dream of an ex, it's most often because you feel an emptiness in your life, not necessarily that you miss or want your ex back. Rather, your subconscious mind is dealing with that emptiness by recalling times, circumstances, behaviors that made you feel more whole. Also, it serves as a gauge for things you might be missing in your life now. If you are lonely, dreams of an ex might be a way to signal to your conscious mind that maybe you're in need of more friends or are ready to start dating. One study said that dreams of exes are often a way for your mind to process traumatic events that are still troubling you so that you can heal. It's a mechanism to rid your conscious mind of thoughts, ideas and memories that you no longer need or want.

I know that I would REALLY like to stop having these dreams. It feels more like salt poured in an open wound to me, but I guess it's really a way for me to heal - or so the psychological studies suggest. I'd much rather dream about my future and the people who are still in my life. I know there are ways to control your dreams via lucid dreaming. It's not easy, but with practice you can be the director, of sorts, for your dreams.

I hope this helps you. I know how upsetting this can be. I have a tendency sometimes to ruminate on the dreams for hours after I wake up. I finally got to the point where I would distract myself right away in the mornings with studying or other things to help the dream fade away. It has proved very successful. And, I always remind myself that the dreams aren't real and don't necessarily mean anything. For those dreams where I get to scream at my ex and finally have my say or have batting practice with his head, I tend to hold onto those a little longer. Fair is fair, after all. :)

Hugs to you.

LOL Cowgirl's "Get the Hell OUT OF HERE!" had be laughing. Great topic. I dream of my ex too. I think it's pretty normal - he was a big part of your life for many years after all.

I don't dream and if I did it wouldn't be about the ex. I stay busy and have a full life on this farm. Perhaps that's why I don't dream.

I had a dream about my ex and it brought back why I left him. Belittling my son and me, raging around the house - who needs him? In my dream, I simply told him "no more" . The reality was that I actually told him "I am so going to leave your fat ass…" Not so nice but I was fed up. My son and I left the next morning and it has worked out so well for us. No more contact with the ex!

In one of my psych classes, we delved into dreams very deeply.

On well accepted theory is that our dreams are our subconsious way of working out our problems. While they sometimes are bizarre to us, they are not so to our inner thought processes.

It could have just been your mind helping to find peace in the idea that you will love again. That your family will be whole again in the sense that you are able to bring another person into it. Just because he resembled your husband in ways doesn't mean you are desiring him. It simply means that his body shape, features etc. are all you know so you liken your "love" of a man to that. It will change as your lover changes.

That's my take anyways. :)

I also believe dreams is our unconscious way of working out our everyday stresses...especially when crisis hits. Divorce hits us hard on all levels and it can be quite overwhelming emotionally and mentally. Our dreams are like a vent on a pressure cooker. I have always paid very close attention to my dreams...they can become bazaar but there is usually a golden nugget of self information within it. For me...its an indicator of something missed that needs work in everyday life...or...its a glimpse into future goals. Regardless...I find dreams can be very helpful once you get past the emotions drummed up...Big Hugs...Kathy

All of these were quite helpful. I was telling my youngest (ok he's 26 so not so llittle) about my dream. He is one who refuses to talk about his dad. Anyway, as I told him about it I am more convinced that it wasn't the exass. I agree with what was said in one post. I just saw the physical traits of who I was with because that's all I had for 29 yrs. I believe it was a new love. I think I am ready. I know I hate being stuck in what feels like limbo.

Now if I can figure out the importance of the "6". Six days, months, years from now? The 6th day or 6th month I meet him? That has be baffled. lol