You put on make up FOR YOU !! You do your hair FOR YOU !!! You exercise for YOU!!! Its not about anyone else but YOU!!! All you are, all you do is about YOU!!! Pride in who you are, what you are and the potential to be!! Mind, body and soul. love&peace :)

Thanks Angel, I just end up crying my make up right off.

We do it because we have to. I cry my makeup off all the time-I cry in the grocery store, but I still go because I have to.
I am trying to be all about me (and my boys) but after 27 years of being all about everything EXCEPT me, I know your struggle!!!
I know at times the pain is so bad you can't breathe, but we will because we have no choice. Life isn't fair, and it really does downright suck right now. But others here have shown us there is a brighter future.

i dont have any make up to cry off, I just let them roll

awww kelly didnt mean to make ya mess up your make up hahah hugsssssssssssss :)

Kelly, the early days are the toughest. You need to concentrate on the INNER you - there is plenty of time to be beautiful and glamorous Kelly again. And you will be! My eyes were puffy for months, and I hated to even wash my hair! I was a mess. You will pull yourself out of this slump, just be gentle on yourself!

Kelli -- TAKE THE DAMNED XANAX!
And turn the radio on...silence can be depressing. I found that when I put a bunch of CD's on during the day, I couldn't help but feel better.

Kelly, just minute by minute at this stage. I personally couldn't listen to music for two years, but the TV helped. I kept it on in the background so I didn't feel alone when the kids weren't there. This is so normal what you are feeling and going through. Sending hugs!

I hear you - I stopped wearing it all together for a long time - but now I'm sure to put it on everyday. Angel's right - you put it on for you. Everything you do now is for you - so try to think of it that way. It's hard but you'll get there. It just takes time. You have to go through it to get through it. No easy way around I'm afraid.

(Hugs)

Kellyb, the early days are hard. You're grieving and that's how you work your way through it all. It's okay to be sad, to miss your ex and the old days, to wish there were still 2 toothbrushes - for as long as it takes you to get through.

The important thing is not to resist your emotions, but to go with them as they come out, especially if you're lucky enough to be able to stay home for a while and really let it out. Really feel your sadness, disbelief and anger etc, and spend time thinking through your thoughts, really taking notice of what you're thinking and feeling. That way, you will come to grips with things a lot more quickly, and you won't have any buried emotions coming back to bite you later on - in new relationships or through physical ill-health.

I found deep breathing, counting breaths, and living in each moment, from moment to moment (without regard for before and what's happening after) were big helps. Watching nature without thinking of anything else is nurturing. Walking barefoot on the grass or ground is balancing.

As CK suggested, playing music can be extremely uplifting. My music needs changed frequently when first found myself alone. I wanted classical first, then (and I am not a huge C&W fan) nothing would do but country & western. Back to rock 'n roll and the list goes on. The best music that helped me, by far, was relaxing music meant for meditation. I'd put it on when I went to bed, and next thing it would be morning!

love and hugs to you
kamary xxx

Kelly, change up your bathroom a bit. I moved things around to give me a semblance of change. Right now you are feeling the pain of this breakup but you will get through this. Yes some days will be tears and some anger but it will be okay. Remember to celebrate the baby steps. You are stronger than you realize. Hugs, Kashmir

You are going to work. You want to look good. It has nothing to do with anything other than you. Apart from an empty house. If the silence is deafening, get up earlier, go for a jog or stay in bed a little longer. It''s all about your view on the world and about filling in the "used to be" moments and the "empty spaces". Of course you know that, but feel free to cry on our shoulders to get strength. Change IS possible. But it's very hard at times. We on this board know that.

"I can't stand seeing one toothbrush in the holder" is much like looking at empty closets in the house. But the problem is, it focus your attention away from the your spouse's original problems and his tendencies to cause you deprivations. Missing the things that you've all along have been missing means that you are losing the "illusions".

Stay away from the idea of lonely, it'll make you needy. Focus on your safe environment that is inducing peace rather than painful conflicts. It takes awhile to embrace the choice to enforce such a life style and from those who attack it.

Meanwhile, as others advise, take your Xanax for scoping. Allow yourself to increase in healthy forms of physical distractions to help keep you moving and out of depression.

You wrote: I can't stand seeing one toothbrush in the holder.

I don't thing it's the being alone that is making you feel this way I think it's the fact that you have been abandoned. I agree with the suggestion to re-arrange things. If there are reminders of him around the house, pack them away.

If you are lonely, get out and make friends. Not male friends unless they are gay. New friends who don't know my EX or my life pre-divorce don't ask about him.....It's wonderful!

Misred is right -- there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm OK being alone much of the time, because I recognize that my loneliness comes from missing one particular person , my husband, and I can't change that. What I can do is decide is whether I want to be alone on a particular day or whether I want to be with a friend, and I try to think this through a few days at a time. Today is Thursday, and I know what my weekend looks like and I'm OK with it -- if I weren't , I would have time enough to call upon good friends and ask them to help me out by getting together for something , whether a cup of coffee, a lunch, a glass of wine, a movie, whatever. If you have even one or two close friends or family members you can call on, now is the time to call on them to help you get through these early dark days.
Hugs and blessings .