Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I was feeling so good on Saturday. I felt like I accepted the separation and impending divorce, I even felt like I was ready to move out of the house. Had a good talk with hubs about money and the future.
My house is surrounded by duplexes and we've gotten some pretty trashy neighbors renting around us. For the second time in a week I confronted the trashy neighbors behind me and it just turned into a screaming match. I woke up yesterday morning to eggs smashed in our boat and all of my screen. Oh yeah, and the police show up at my door Sat. nite telling me I can't be on their property. I felt so ashamed of myself yesterday for even engaging in this behavior. Problem is, I think I'm just looking for somebody to rage at since hubs isn't there.
So now I just feel so alone with nobody to stand up for me. I'm worried that the trashy neighbors will do something bad to my property, and even though I was feeling good about moving to a better neighborhood, it's terrifying me.
I've lived in my house for 22 years. Do I really want to go to an apartment? I don't have any answers - it's just all so sad.
My house is surrounded by duplexes and we've gotten some pretty trashy neighbors renting around us. For the second time in a week I confronted the trashy neighbors behind me and it just turned into a screaming match. I woke up yesterday morning to eggs smashed in our boat and all of my screen. Oh yeah, and the police show up at my door Sat. nite telling me I can't be on their property. I felt so ashamed of myself yesterday for even engaging in this behavior. Problem is, I think I'm just looking for somebody to rage at since hubs isn't there.
So now I just feel so alone with nobody to stand up for me. I'm worried that the trashy neighbors will do something bad to my property, and even though I was feeling good about moving to a better neighborhood, it's terrifying me.
I've lived in my house for 22 years. Do I really want to go to an apartment? I don't have any answers - it's just all so sad.
@ Kelly: Hugs to you. You are just taking a ride on the roller coaster and sometimes it's just awful. I'm glad though that you are crying because that is your body's way of purging the pain. Has to be done.
Sending you loads of healing hugs!
Find some outlet that you enjoy to get the anger out.. and crying has its place. I do not know what I would not have done without my GF who called me every night for a year and half. I was not working during my divorce! Working out at my athletic club was also a great outlet.. it was social and it was good for my endorphins in my brain! BUT believe me, once or twice I had a crying breakdown at the towel rack. You have to even out your emotions and stay employed.. HUGS
It is normal to be worried and emotional. Keep reaching out to keep it in check. Ms Terey likes to advise that now is not forever, I agree. So keep some good thoughts and be good to yourself.
peace
Unless it's a safety issue or partying in the middle of the night, I would try to stay clear. You have ENOUGH on your plate dealing with your separation, don't bother engaging people who are not worthy of your time - it will such the energy out of you, and you need every ounce you can muster!
Neighbour problems are the worst - my ex used to alienate our neighbours, we actually moved from one neighbourhood because of his growing feud with the guy next door. It's just not worth it!
Concentrate on you, your kids, and getting your divorce moving along so that maybe you can put the house up for sale and start fresh somewhere else...worked for me! Good luck, hang in there!
Do your best to take a deep breath and ask yourself "In the big scheme of things, is this really worth the negative energy I have put into it?" The answer is usually no. This may be a time to let some things slide and also to pause and take a few deep breaths BEFORE reacting.
Hugs to you. Patience is KEY.