This is why we call it a roller coaster! The good news, you realized what you did and why.. your rage may be more about other issues than the neighbors. In some marriages, there is history of arguing about everything, and some people is it a habit, hence getting into arguments with other people. Do not do this! Whatever it is that you have do engage with neighbors twice, stop it.

I say if you have lived there 22 years, you can stay at least during the divorce process. My other guess is now you are looking for reasons to justify to move out of the house. Not all renters or rental property brings trashy neighbors.. and if you are thinking of renting, you better change that attitude! Since you work in the real estate business on the mortgage side, you know the pros and cons of renting vs owning. I have always been grateful that I bought the ex out of my house and could.. but each of has to make that decision on our own based on so many different criteria. Either way, you have to live where you are for the time being. You can not run away! Egg throwing seems quite tame compared to what could happen. Could you make peace some way?

I am sure I am not alone in telling you to stop trying to make deals with the ex. One of the many hard parts of divorce, is the uncertain part of the future that you can not control. I and others will tell you, you can talk all you want to a stbx and it all may be in vain..... because until you sign that divorce decree it is all up in the air. Behave yourself, stop engaging with the neighbors. You can do this, stay in the present. HUGS

Hugs to you-it is definitely going to be up and down for awhile. My mood changes every ten minutes or so.

I am having a crap day too! My husband came to our house while I was out of town to get his Arnold Schwarzenager sized weight set out of the basement over the weekend to "get it out of my way". He has never bothered to use it while we were married and it took up half of the basement. Now I guess he is going to do a bit of "manscaping," as my sister calls it, for my replacement. I don't know why I am so upset, I knew this was coming. SO irritating. I always kept myself in shape for him but he could never bother. He even got his teeth whitened. Blah! I hope we can both dig out of the hole sometime today. Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way.

Tough day for sure- absolutely sounds like a bad situation. Sometimes we do things we would not normally do- as we have so much anxiety inside. So sorry you had this happen. Take a minute at a time and hang on tight. There will be a better moment coming your way soon!
HUGS!!!!!!
Cheryl

Hi there all of you. I am having a bad day as well. Bad moment turns to good minutes turns to panic attacks and then the cycle begins over and over. Hopefully, at a certain point, I can rationalize and move forward with divorce. I am so emotional that it clouds the memories of years of emotional abuse and sadness. It is good to know that I am not alone and my feelings are valid and real.

Lastdance...... I would imagine that your husband is grasping at straws on his future. Remember that just because he picked up those weights does not mean that he will use them and devote each day to working out. He did not have the habit all those years and chances are the want will die down. You should not worry about it though. Also remember that if there is someone that is attracted to him, they are just getting the surface and eventually they will start to see the real person, the one that caused you pain and sadness..
I always wanted for my husband to be found with another woman only so I would have a good, tangible reason to leave and not feel the guilt that I experience on my "rollercoaster" . I always say that what people see in my STBX is just the social and not the 24/7 husband. If anyone wants him, they can have him because there is a lot more under the surface.

Thanks everyone for the warm thoughts - I hate to see anyone have a bad day, but at least we have each other to lean on. Deener, I know all about the cycle and the panic attacks, some days I'm just like a hamster on a wheel.

I'm feeling better now. Took an early lunch hour, went home and let the flood gates open. The hardest part is being at work or in public and trying not to cry when you're practically choking on it. I definately know with me that if I'm not able to let it out, it seems 10 times worse when I finally do.

uhhhh manscaping is trimming pubic hair, not working out lol.


@Kellyb711 (((HUGS)))

That is toooooo funny Misred!
Thanks for the laugh -I really needed one!
Cheryl

Well.....I thought I had better clarify what it meant.....would be embarrassing for one of us to ask a son who was working out "How's the manscaping going Dear?"

well i had trash nieghbors and i dont feel you are looking for a fight its ya jsut want to live in peace and quiet the disrespect to stop wth naieghbors and going thru bad time they are jsut the icing on the cake i justt kept calling the cops til they laid off and now ignore all of them. They dont pay my bills . Just take a stand adn stay there dont cave. The house yeah i went back andforth too cause of the asshole ex telling me i couldtn afford it blah blah blah well im still here and right now kelly Ithink ya have too much on yru plate to make a wise choice on to move or not to move. Just hang tough till the divorce is over then decide like Ms Terry said for now it is home and for me it gave me stablity when i had none to be in surrounding i knew. It will all become clear to you just be patient work on whast is wihtin your power and control and the rest will have to wait. Trust me patience it not one of my virtues but it will all prevail its self in due time. Peace&love

Thanks Misred, because that is what I know mean by " manscaping" also.... a landscaping of the pubic area!

I know this is hard, but look at it this way.. one less heavy item to get out the basement..! AND I suspect if he did not use it during the marriage, this will be short lived, the body building side.. HUGS

Ha ha that is so funny, I will have to let my sister know about this misuse of "manscaping",
I never heard the word before, but that makes sense! Glad you are feeling better Kelly. Maybe you can find a way to make peace with neighbors, it could be better for your mental health in the long run.

I'm sorry they threw eggs @ your stuff. That sucks - but then again - they suck. (Hugs) to you!!! don't be too hard on yourself. It will all come together...

I did go over there yesterday morning and knock on the door. I offered my hand, said "I'm Kelly and I'm sorry". Trashy little bitch sneered at me and said "get off of my property" which of course they don't own, and slammed the door in my face. That only made me feel worse for engaging with this sub par level of society. I called the landlord today, who is a super nice guy and use to live in the duplex, and told him everything - me and hubs splitting and me probably being a bit paranoid, but he understood. I have his cell now and he has agreed that whenever they act up I'll call him and he'll take care of it.

It is good to have you ladies. I just feel like I can tell you anything and you can talk me off the ledge. THANK YOU.

Msred I almost wet myself with the manscaping. I did not know that I thought it meant trimming a moustache. I thought WTF meant “what’d they find”. It fit the first few times I saw it. Then my 16 yr old grandson asked me if I knew what it meant, he knows I don’t use that word. I thank god I did not put that in an email.