I still can't believe it and we have been living separate for 17 months and the divorce has been final since March of this year. He also said nothing was wrong when I would ask him over the past 6 or 7 years. He didn't have the guts to admit he was uphappy until he searched and found another woman on-line to have an affair with. Now the affair has ended and he has said he is sorry and wants to be best friends. How can I be best friends with him after I found out about his on-line search for women and maybe porno. We live in Alaska and he brought this woman up from Texas behind my back to screw her and wine and dine her and I found out by accident. Yes he has since said he is sorry but big deal. I still cry most days but that is okay it makes me feel better. I never knew I was married for 20 years to a coward and liar. Most of the time I hate him. He lives in Texas and takes no responsibility for our teenage daughter and I kept the house and I am making it financial but barely. I had to pay him off and give him half my retirement so I could keep the house. I just don't understand why he didn't speak up or tell me. He just came home one night and blindsighted me. I am still so hurt I wonder if I will ever get over it. Will I ever be able to be with another man? He made me feel so unwanted. He asked me for sex one week before he dropped the bomb but as I waited in bed for him I had to call him three times because he was on the internet and then acted like he was doing his duty. What an a-hole. Okay I will stop now.

Aklady my heart goes to you. You were divorced in March, me in April. I did not have pain of the other woman or internet addiction. I cry some days, but mostly when something frustrates me, like the garage door. I hate him and miss him my profile says.

From what I understand the internet thing is a whole new dimension. My therapist friend told me that is the biggest issue he deals with internet porn and online cheating. It is very difficult to deal with and treat. They meet someone on line and think that they get to know that person and build a relationship. It is all bunk. What yours did is classic. Best friends! Now he finds out his dream relationship was a lie, big surprize. I can predict now he will try and reconcile with you...he is in another state, no friends and I guess not doing so well.

Do you have or can you afford a therapist? It really does help, so does this place. The pain of this is incredible and we here know this. You are doing well. You have a daughter and the house. I have the dog and the house and believe me some days I am up on a ladder cleaning the gutters and I hope the neighbor kids are at school because I damm "him" often. Worry about right now... day to day. My friend and sister laws were coming back from Mexico this winter and they all called me at the airport and said, you have to come with us and the husbands next year ( they are all married) and I said alone? They all sang out, YOU DON'T NEED NO STINKIN MAN! I love guys, but really I feel that way ninety per cent of the time! YOU can do this!

It is very surreal, now.
It was a roller coaster ride starting a year ago. A year full of crying, anger, codependency, praying, healing, flip-flopping, sadness, and joy.
But now that we are moving forward with divorce, it is a dream like state of (not sure this is the right word) acceptance.
I had a life and goals and dreams and than BAM. No you don't. In a way I woke up and have never felt more alive. In another way, I'm tired and sad to see everything I've given myself for go down the shitter.
Strange days indeed.