After DD#1 I went to a counselor for a few months. My STBX chickened out about moving in with OW so I thought we could work things out (I know, I know). After DD#2, he moved 3000 miles to be with OW. I had been self medicating with alcohol during the time in between the DD's. Once he moved out, I stopped because I didn't need it any more.

I did get a prescription for Xanax to get me through the first month. Now I only take it when I need it. I agree with everyone that you have to experience the horror to get through it and move on. That's why I limit medication. I found Mindfulness Meditation Therapy nearby and have been going for over a month. It's interesting because I learn mediation and breathing exercises to control my stress. But I also talk about what I've gone through during the week, just like my previous counseling.

I still have bad days but feel I know how to work through them. I am working on myself to better myself. The STBX, however hasn't. He brought all of his depression, irritability, and narcissism with him. Now the OW has to deal with it. Good luck with that. I used to think he was smart but didn't he realize that he can run away from everyone but himself? Apparently not.

Therapy helped me a lot, and the hardest thing for me is that I gave it up much earlier than I would have liked. I just can't afford it, but there are lots of times I wish I could speak to my last therapist about how I'm doing, what I'm thinking about, working on etc. I could still use to learn some coping tools for my current post-divorce trauma life. I find that I question myself a LOT more than I used to when I had a spouse that I trusted to bounce things off of.

Then again, I suppose that there's a time when you need to go it on your own.

I have been seeing a counselor for almost 6 years. I found out about my husband's involvement with the OW (his ex-girlfriend from college) exactly 6 years ago this month. I was devastated. I found a very good counselor whom I saw weekly at first, then every other or every third week. I did a lot of venting and she was a very good listener. She offered excellent perspective on things for me. Except initially, many times when I had an appt. I had had a good day and the sessions wasn't always something that I needed on that particular day. Then there would be days between appt. when something really disturbing would occur related to the separation/divorce that I wished I could have spoken to her then. So, I understand that dilemma. Last year, I felt like I was "stuck" in the healing process and changed therapists. I was hoping that a change might be what I needed to move forward. I like this counselor also, and I have benefited from my sessions with her. Overall, I feel like I am doing very well, and I feel a lot more settled and at peace with being divorced. That doesn't mean I like being divorced because I don't, and I don't think I ever will. I think I will always have some degree of sadness and feeling of loss deep down. I will always miss our intact family unit. But, recently I have sensed a subtle shift in how I am feeling. Much less focused on the past, and starting to enjoy the present more. I could never have gotten through the pain of the last 6 years without the support of two great counselors. My first one, especially, was a God send to me. I am hoping to wind down the counseling sessions in the near future. I think I've reached the point that only time will ease the residual feelings of sadness.

I love therapy Being a Psych. major, have had mandatory sessions.

Towards ex, it backfired.

He took my discontent in our marriage as being unstable. Went to therapy, which empowered me, which he disliked. Then, marriage therapy went in my favor. He came in with a 3 page list of my faults, I had 3. The therapist said at the end, he was superficial, I was a realist. She told me to go ahead with the divorce, that ex is never going to change. Ex told me after that she just sided on me because she was a woman. He chose the therapist, I had no clue if I was meeting a man or a woman.

I'm thinking about it again, just to re-affirm my life choices.

After years with my ex, I had Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. My therapist was a godsend in helping me work through it.