Hi my dear friends in strength and healing. Wow can you believe it's been over 2 years now since my ex abandoned us and left us broken, alone, and feeing totally worthless. Not a penny in the bank, cars and home being repoed, and I was only working 20 hours a week for $9.50 an hour!!! What the HELL was I going to do??? Never thought in a million years I was going to be able to survive.
Just pulling myself out of bed was PAINFULL!!! I didn't want to just leave me alone to DIE!!! When I look back at the woman I was then, sad, scared, heart broken, betrayed, no self worth, angry, you know the way most of us feel when were lied to and left for dead. I don't feel sorry for her, I don't feel ashamed of her, I'M PROUD OF HER!! If she had simply given up, and decided to just stay in bed and feel sorry for herself, then she would have NEVER been able to see how BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING LIFE COULD BE AGAIN!!!! Then he would have been the end of her story.

I know sometimes it's so overwhelming, it' so painful, you start to question Faith. If there is a God why would he do this to me??? Why would he do this to my family and my kids???? I found myself yelling HOW, WHY, This is not FAIR!!! I DESERVE AND MY CHILDREN DESERVE BETTER!!!!!
God knew that too, so guess what, maybe the answer was in the question all along.

God knew I deserved and my children deserved way more than a lying, cheating, irresponsible, heartless, cruel, soulless, creep, who will never grow up and be a man. It was only when I realized that GOD removed that Cancer from my life before it killed me. I stopped feeling sorry for myself an made the choice TO FIGHT FOR MY LIFE, AND THE LIFE OF MY KIDS. We survived him despite all his efforts to tear us down, push us back into the cold darkness from the warm light. Remember " Don't let your Heart be filled with Sorrow, for all you Tomorrow, the Dream that you wish will Come True " I love that Disney song because it's about Hope a Believing in a better life for yourself. You have to believe in YOURSELF, Dreams give you a goal to work towards, even if it' a small goal to start. In the start of my journey just taking a shower and getting my son ready for school was a goal each day. When I was reaching all my small goals I set bigger ones. New job making enough money so I don't have to rely on his support, which only comes when he feels like it. A new home again with a back yard and room for family barbeques and gatherings. And of course the chance at Love again.

Day by day I worked and worked, I stopped focusing ON HIM AND STARTED TO FOCUS ON ME!!!! And wow once I did that everything started to shift and the amazing changes that occurred in my life were like Mini Miracles.
There were these Angels to help me along the way here on DS my Fair Godmother Cowgirl Kathy was there when I needed her, along with many sisters and brothers filled with Love, Strength, Wisdom, and stories to share.
To all of you new comers to DS life seems, scary, hopeless, and you just don't BELIEVE YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!
YOU CAN!!! FIND THE STRENGTH, FIND THE HOPE, AND DREAM OF A BETTER LIFE......
" No matter how your Heart is Grieving, if you keep on Believing, the Dream that you Wish, Will come True"

God Bless all of you, Life gets better, Just have Faith in Yourself and Trust in God he has a plan I promise.

Your Friend,
Disney:)