Welcome yorkieluvr. You are safe here. You will be well supported and cared for while you are here. Each member will try to ease your journey, offer insight, and care. You have taken a big step towards moving forward. It will end...it will take some time...it will hurt, and in time... you will grow and heal. We've got your back.

Hi yourkieluvr, It's the group nobody ever wants to join but were all so grateful it is here! I dont know how I got along the months before finding this group, they are the best!
welcome : )
hugs

Welcome! You will find lots of great support here. Share as much or as little as you wish. One of the bright spots of my dark days of divorce was finding this sight--it has helped me through so many rough times (and still does). I've been on here close to three years and stay because I want to support people like you just starting the process.

Some words of advice: Two of the best phone calls I made in this process were to a good divorce attorney and a good counselor. One helped me get a good financial settlement, the other put me back together emotionally. I would advise you to make these calls.

Sending loads of hugs! Keep talking to us here.

Welcome to this group. I was married 33 years and have been divorced since Dec, 2007. There are a lot of good people on this site and you will get a lot of help and support. I know you will find the support you need from the men and women in this group.

Welcome - I am new also. I am not separated but I am making plans to move out in a week. My husband dropped the bomb on Valentines Day. Our lease is up here so on to the next stage of my life. I have been on a rollercoaster for two months. It doesn't help me to go backwards, I have to continue to move forward.
Baby Steps

Welcome! Guess what, you made it through a year of being separated! That first year is so hard. Backsliding is not uncommon. Not uncommon after the divorce. No matter how well you are doing, all of us, I believe in the first couple years, we can slip.. but picking yourself up moving on is what you do! Divorce for me was one the hardest things I have ever had to do, and I have done some tough things.. but it has also been the most rewarding . I swore I would thrive, and I did and do. BUT it is hard, and it takes effort. Many days it was a big effort.. We are all different, yet have so much in common. It is that collective effort that helps us, even if you lurk.

This is a marathon of emotions and work. Take care of you first! That is hard to do for many here after a long term marriage. It takes work, but it also pays off. The hard part is to see when! A BIG HUG!

Welcome Yorkieluver and RSN59. The best is yet to come. (((HUGS)))

Welcome, Yorkie and RSN! Although this isn't the best of circumstances under which to meet new people on here, I'm glad you found us. So many of us have similar stories. I am amazed at how much we can actually take! Why do these stbx's so often break the news that they cheated or want a divorce on a holiday??? It's mind boggling. I learned of my own downward spiral a few days before Thanksgiving (I dealt with it by saying we could work through this) and shortly before we walked out the door to be with friends on Thanksgiving he said he had a two year old son with OW. I don't know how I made it though that day.But we survived, right? For every roller coaster, we desensitize a bit more and pretty soon our "evened out" times remain longer and longer and our lows diminish. I haven't looked at the older part of my journal for a long time, but it seems that roller coaster/backsliding train wreck lasted a little over 2 years. Fortunately, I delved into school which helped distract me. The home situation caused a lot of drama, obviously, so it was super hard to get through school with a good GPA. And of course when I was initially in school and we were still together, I was haunted that he was seeing OW. Once our sons and I moved out to be closer to our respective schools, then the healing began to go more quickly.
I wish you both the best as you share your experiences and hope that somehow you will read what you need to in order to get through your trials. This is a great group and I am so very thankful to them.

Welcome, yorkie. This site was a godsend for me. It gave me the support and advice that was invaluable!!!! My family and friends are there for me but, here, it's advice from experience. We are all living through this, together. All the best.

As I've said before, this group is a blessing and God's sent. While, these people not only share their grief, they also lead you out of the valley of despair...through example of those who already found the way out. We cry together and we find time to laugh together.

I came on a few months after my ex abandoned our marriage of 25 years. I had later learned of his present and past affairs....I was in shock and had believed my marriage was good and secured. The hurt from betrayal had no boundaries. I went from self hatred, internalizing, to outward anger, you name it.

I was given early a passage, my favorite: "God has separated you from your spouse because He knows your spouse's heart. Your spouse is not going to make decisions that will be in your best interests. Your spouse is making decisions based on their own selfishness. God is protecting you. God accepts you and wants to do you good. " This for me, was the very first helping hand.

Wow.. thank you all SO much for the warm welcome... I'm so glad I found this place.. Friday's are especially difficult for me, and today more so than usual... was a frustrating day in several ways... the worst was that my pharmacy couldn't take that little extra step to follow up with the DR office.. REALLY?? do you see that you're filling a prescription for an anti-depressant? Hello???? You know what - halfway through my first cocktail - now it's actually kind of funny.. no - haven't started taking them yet - I know they don't mix with alcohol.. starting tomorrow - hope they help...

I'm trying real hard to count my blessings.. I have a few good friends, a good job, can support myself, good health, have a decent home and of course, as my handle implies - my great little Yorkie girl... she keeps me from just laying in the bed crying..

Makes me wonder how we got along before the internet and the ability to connect with others in our situation.. Thank you Bill Gates... lol

I just wish that none of us were here, but life being the way it is, we are and we will survive. I dropped the bomb on him on Sept. 2007 and it has been indescribable the pain and anger. But that will pass, believe me, the good times will come slowly but surely. One day at a time. One thing just smile and be happy when you see him. it will just piss him off to no end. RSN54 and Yorkieluvr you will both be fine just strap on that seat belt and hang on for the rollercoaster ride of a lifetime. I did it and now I am at peace with myself.

tobywinn thank you for sharing you quote....very powerful....I am glad someone shared it with you

Try to just keep going, for now. It will get better, but it takes a heck of alot longer than you (and me) think it should. I was married for 25 yrs. Try to get outside if possible every day, it does help your perspective. Keep in contact with friends and family, it is very easy to "shut down" and get into a rut. Don't let yourself get housebound, or just watch T.V. mindlessly. You need to give yourself time to heal, like if you had a serious illness or accident. You wouldn't be running a 15K with a broken leg, same type of thing. Give yourself grace and time. Take good care of yourself, you deserve it. I hope this helps you. God Bless.

My dear yorkiluvr: I'm a Yorkie lover too - even though I still don't have one! I'm glad you found this awesome site, but of course, my heart goes out to you. Like the rest of the people here, I found this site several years ago when I was where you are at right now - in so much pain. I am so grateful that I did find this group - and as tobywinn stated, it has been an incredible blessing and a God sent for my healing process. Please know that I and many others will be praying for you because we know how hard this is for you right now. Literally, my heart is crying out for you at this moment.

Just know that you are very loved, very understood and very welcomed here within this group. Even though the circumstances that have brought you are painful, I promise you that time will heal your wounded soul, and prayers will help to heal your heart. Big hugs to you!!!!