I totally understand how you feel. I was a big part of my ex's family for over 25 years. Since his family lived closer, my daughters grew up closer to his, so when he got rid of me, I lost the family I was closer to than my own. It was devastating. The holidays are the worst. I try now to focus more on the meaning of the holidays. I now focus more on my faith and friends than my adult children who all but one live out of state. It keeps me focused and happy. Faith, my friend! God saved me and HE will keep you strong as well if you let HIM.

Thank you. It's nice that someone understands. God has always gotten me through. Just a bad patch right now.

Hello amazinggrace15 ( Marie)
Ohhhhhh, I know the feeling to well. Sounds like my story except I'm about 10years past the day my x left and was married for 38 years. Thats also 38 / 4o years of me being part of her Family. It all ended...she left......her family and many old friends all left when she did. It's been been rough, but I did get remarried 5 1/2 years ago to a really nice person . With all my baggage and memories ......, But I'm trying to make it work a d live a happy life. Marie , at times it still gets to me....and the Holidays bring in tears here and there. I try to focus on my life now and live in the present. Those old thoughts and memories sneak in every now and then . I just try not to dwell on them. I'll do something else to change my thoughts..At least I try to do that !!!!! I think that it would be better for you to get off Facebook. It will only hurt you more to see old /present pictures. You're better off not knowing whats going on. I found that out! Better I know nothing. It's just triggers that lead to sadness. I live day to day and try to find happiness and peace whenever and wherever I can. My wife is a great person and I try to keep thinking how lucky that I was to meet her. I try to give her all the love that I lost.....No, not easy.......I'm working on it. Many times I think that I should be by myself.... I don't know !!!!!!
Marie, you may want to think about volunteering somewhere for the Holidays . It will help keep your mind off the past and will help others. You'll also meet some nice people.
Soooooooo,. Do the best . Try to look for those little good and positive things in your life and remind yourself that there are still good things in your life and that many new and God things will come in your life.
Until then ,. Never give up ..God loves you.
Take care Bob

Thank you, Bob, I know you understand. I did unfollow the memorial page on FB and I guess I will unfollow The nieces and nephews. as there are pics from this weekend from his family. I do volunteer, just not lately. I am blessed through Gods grace.
God bless
Marie

Hugs, my friend. Bob said it so well. There is not much I can add. I was a big part of his family, always doing things, hosting parties, everything. But looking back I am seeing things differently. I am now feeling that I was never part of their family, just someone that was there to cater to their demands. There is nothing you can do about them, but you can sit back and learn to love the marvellous, smart woman you are.

Thank you Atpeacemary!

(((HUGS))))

Thank you misred hugs to you.

Sometimes I think about my son and how close that he is with his wife's family. It's scary to think that if something happened between he and his wife that her family would be no more. Like mine and many people here. It happened to my one brother when his wife cheated and left him. I think that he left her after coming home one night and she was in the neighbors swimming pool nude with the neighbors husband.. Wow,. That's got to hit you. Well he had three beautiful children that are now taking care of him in his old age. All works out !! Her family never had anything t do with him again other then the kids. You know, ... life sucks that way. All your life you love people and then they leave you. The worst part is the other spouse is the one who cheated... left. Thats life.
Bob

Well I had a mini meltdown in the middle of the night. I had a great weekend and then saw more pics on FB. I called the X today and we talked about his brother and the will, turns out he doesn't get the house 100% as his mother's well specified 50% for him and the rest to go
to his nieces and nephews so he has lawyers fees and sign off forms and he cannot get the house for at least 6 months. Its ironic that he is going through what I went through last year when he left me. I spoke to his niece too and the gf shared with her that she can't stop working because of something to do with her and past taxes, but the gf didn't share this with my X. My niece told my X and asked him , "do you know what you got t yourself into" and that he needed to have the X put all her cards on the table.

The X and I talked about our marriage and why he left the way he did and how he broke my heart and our family. . Same old story he wasn't happy, he didn't plan on leaving he was trying to work on our marriage and he was only talking to her and wasn't planning on going to her but if he would have went anywhere else he was going to have a breakdown., ask d him why couldn't he have told me and the counselor instead of what he did. Said he was going to the night he left but I said something and he had to leave right away. He wants to live the rest of his life happy and no drama. ,Doesn't look like that's happening. I told him yes that's what I want for myself. He said you are a strong woman and turn it over to God. He says God wanted him to be happy and that's why he sent him to her. I said that was not God that was you, God didn't tell you to go and lay with another woman. He said well God has forgiven me. I will continue to pray for everyone involved and I know God is working everything out and has a plan for me.

All his nieces and nephews said it is hard for them too but he is their uncle and they want to have a relationship with him so that means being around her. But I am still their Aunt and always will be.

Sounds like you got some more information, not sure if it will be helpful to you or not. I'm proud of you for calling him out on the "God wanted me to be happy" BS. God's not concerned with our happiness, He's concerned with our salvation. Yeah, maybe he is forgiven, but he will have to deal with the consequences , most likely it will be drama since he has confessed that is what drove him away from his commitment.

more (((HUGS))) Praying for you to have the peace of Jesus he promised us in John 14:27

I went to a codependency support group tonight. It was like God was speaking to me. It was about rejection and boundaries and giving it all to God. So I am keeping myself open to following His lead. Thanks for the love, support and prayers. Hugs.

If you can, stop talking to him. I know that contact feels helpful at the time - like you will get to say your part, and/or get some answers. I know because I've done it a million times. (feels like a million, anyway!) But 90% of the time I end up feeling worse. The few times I've felt better is when my ex admitted his life was kinda crap. But in the end, he is still comes home to someone every day and I do not. I miss that!!! But I know, that when I avoid him and only talk to him about necessary things like our kids it is easier to deal with. I hope the same for you. hugs.

Thank you all for love, support and prayers. I am doing much better now.

i just needed to get out and talk to people. Talked to people who have or are going through life changes, got lots of love, understanding and validation and that's what I need right now.