Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I'm lost right now and I didn't know where else to go. I just got off the phone with my husband. He wanted to try and agree on some child custody issues before he files on Tuesday. I've been wanting to talk to him to just get some closure and talk about everything so that we could have some kind of civil relationship after the divorce. He walked out during a fight and we've never really had a full discussion about everything. I wanted to meet with him to just talk everything out but he said there's nothing to talk about. I told him that if I were the OW he would talk but I guess I'm not good enough anymore. He said, fine he'd meet with me on Monday. I asked about his work schedule on Monday and he said he could do it from 10a to 1230. I said forget it. If you can only spare a couple of hours after 20 years I don't want to bother you.
I didn't want to talk about getting back together. It's too late for that, but I feel like we're acting impulsively because we've never fully discussed everything. I just feel like there's so many things I want to say to him and so many things I want to know from him. It's not about reconciling. But I don't want us to hate each other either.
I feel so worthless. How can he hate me so much that he can't spare a few hours of his time. We were best friends and I just don't know when we became enemies? Is this because of the OW? All I wanted was to talk to him. Couldn't he be there for me for that one time? I just don't understand how we could feel so differently about each other. I just never saw it.
I feel so overwhelmed with sadness again. And worthlessness. My 22 years being his partner and he can't even take an afternoon. My self-esteem is low now. He means so much to me, even now, and i mean nothing to him. I'm nothing. Haven't cried this much in awhile. I think it's going to be one of those nights. My kids are going to him for the week tonight too so it'll be just me and the baby. Usually it makes me more depressed but maybe tonight it will be good so I can cry in my wine without them around.
Why do they have to be like this?
I didn't want to talk about getting back together. It's too late for that, but I feel like we're acting impulsively because we've never fully discussed everything. I just feel like there's so many things I want to say to him and so many things I want to know from him. It's not about reconciling. But I don't want us to hate each other either.
I feel so worthless. How can he hate me so much that he can't spare a few hours of his time. We were best friends and I just don't know when we became enemies? Is this because of the OW? All I wanted was to talk to him. Couldn't he be there for me for that one time? I just don't understand how we could feel so differently about each other. I just never saw it.
I feel so overwhelmed with sadness again. And worthlessness. My 22 years being his partner and he can't even take an afternoon. My self-esteem is low now. He means so much to me, even now, and i mean nothing to him. I'm nothing. Haven't cried this much in awhile. I think it's going to be one of those nights. My kids are going to him for the week tonight too so it'll be just me and the baby. Usually it makes me more depressed but maybe tonight it will be good so I can cry in my wine without them around.
Why do they have to be like this?
Hugs to you.
that was 2 years ago,but he moved on my corner..wouldnt go away physically.
then 3 weeks ago he dumps the slut he was keeping hidden --so she stalks me and comes over to tell me everything hes lied to me about .i psychically knew it and more,
but her telling me sent me straight to the therapist. i was in shock.
yes he operates outta guilt,..and no he will never be a friend again.
he trashed our marriage. and now most of what ive learned of what he's done--i wish i never ever knew.
too painful,sad ,sick. ive been moving on,im in remission and have a great business to work at--and trying to get back to my own social world.having lots of friends saved me thru all of this.
i spent 2 years crying. but thats over. he is dead to me, and we dont have kids thank god
geez june 10 would have been our 28th anniv, but that date forever will never affect me again.
trust that you cant trust them ever again,with anything. once a liar always a liar..evil..
i learned the hard way.he had brought me food when i was so ill,on my porch,etc..
all the while keeping her hidden in his apt ..asshole told her all about me--she said..
im enraged.
i told him go away forever run to the low class trash life you picked, your totally dead to me forever.
everyonewho knows me they say--what an asshole he turned into--forget that--
its his loss.
believe me you dont wanna know the truth..its too painful.