Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
My stbx has two sisters and two brothers all with kids and grandkids. All the kids are more like brothers than cousins because we live within 5 miles from each other have have get togethers almost once a month. The last get together was Easter, which I skipped because it was just days after the bomb was dropped.
So I talked to stbx this morning and apparently his sister called to tell him they were doing June bdays at the park on 4th of July. She wanted to leave it up to him as far as wether or not he's comfortable with me going, which he said he's fine with. I'm hurt that she didn't call me. I know it's awkward for everyone, his family is the type to ignore the pink elephant in the room. Of course the park is right next to his apartment - it used to be one of my favortie parks, now I don't go there anymore.
I miss all my nephews and nieces but don't know what to do. Next week will make 3 months since he dropped the bombshell, and although I feel like I'm lightyears from where I was, I'm still very hurt and emotional. I know my kids would love for me to go.
It never ceases to amaze me that by no choice of my own, I feel like I'm the one who has to navigate through all the BS while he just breezes by.
So I talked to stbx this morning and apparently his sister called to tell him they were doing June bdays at the park on 4th of July. She wanted to leave it up to him as far as wether or not he's comfortable with me going, which he said he's fine with. I'm hurt that she didn't call me. I know it's awkward for everyone, his family is the type to ignore the pink elephant in the room. Of course the park is right next to his apartment - it used to be one of my favortie parks, now I don't go there anymore.
I miss all my nephews and nieces but don't know what to do. Next week will make 3 months since he dropped the bombshell, and although I feel like I'm lightyears from where I was, I'm still very hurt and emotional. I know my kids would love for me to go.
It never ceases to amaze me that by no choice of my own, I feel like I'm the one who has to navigate through all the BS while he just breezes by.
All I'd like to say is, if you feel as though you want to go, and the fear is holding you back, go anyway. If you really don't want to go, don't. Follow your gut instinct.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this...perhaps your being overly sensitive. It appears your ex's family is open and loving and would love to have you to continue to be a part of there lives...how wonderful...I didnt get that from mine...I'm feeling a bit jealous. I can understand if your not ready to actually go...and you shouldnt if you dont feel comfortable but try to keep the communication open with the family...especially the SIL. I think if you were honest with her she also would totally understand. If you do go...hold your head high and be the strong women you are...to hell with your ex. Also...you gotta know that it is difficult for the other family members as well. Big Hugs...Kathy
I felt a lot better after talking to her and realized I should have gone straight to the source in the first place instead of trying to communicate with a MAN! Still not sure what I'll do but I think I'll at least stop by to see my nieces and nephews.
Thanks so much for listening everyone.