Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

507 Members
7,364 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

Ex and new girlfriend

cmonge
cmonge

I posted about three weeks ago that my dumb ex ruined my weekend by walking into a party with his new GF.  Well, just as predicted, it was a whole lot easier the second time.  The callouses build up quick!  The idiot sat almost directly behind me at a local outdoor concert.  Do you mean to tell me he couldn't recognize the back of my head?!  When I realized it, I got up my nerve and went back to say hello.  I looked great, BTW( which shouldn't matter, but it does). And held my head up high.  She looked terrified to meet me, but whe the show ended, she politely smiled at me.  I seriously didn't feel any angst this time.   I honestly feel like "she can have him!"  And I wasn't even upset not to have a date of my own.  I think my confidence is growing.  And my new therapist is wonderful!!  

trisha9054
trisha9054
You did really good. This shows how far forward you have come. Knowing you looked greate did help you to face this headon.
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Well done, my friend. So she was not comfortable to meet you. Well, what did she expect? I bet that he did it on purpose too. To show you that he has someone else and you don't. It took a lot of courage to stand up to him. You are right she can have him. I know how it feels. You will be fine. Having a man is not a priority for me. Learning to live life the way I want to, is. Peace and quiet Priceless.
MNMama
MNMama
Good for you! Well done. And it can't hurt to show her you're well shut of him. Seems to me, the next victim in our ex's lives should be watching out for their turn.
mirandac
mirandac
Proud of you!!!! I havent had the honor yet i moved out
Of town so maybe i will be lucky. I know the GF just
Have not seen them together. HUGS
dairytech
dairytech
That is awesome! You did great! It does get easier each time it happens. There will come a time where it doesn't bother you at all. Although my ex is on his own...we have managed to forge a friendship...I'm not sure how I will feel when he has a partner again...time will tell
neverceases
neverceases
Good for you cmonge!
kamary
kamary
That's terrific, cmonge. I love the thought that you feel better off without him. That's how I feel about my ex. So glad it's all over and I'm free.

I sat next to the ex at my sister's funeral 2 weeks ago and it was like sitting next to anyone - no feelings for him at all!!

You're doing great.

Love and hugs
kamary
movingon2016
movingon2016
Is it wrong of me to focus only on the fact you looked good? LMAO. It just made me feel good and a little revengeful!
donnasammander
donnasammander
Looking good is success in more ways than one. AWESOME!
cmonge
cmonge
ha - thanks all. you're so sweet! Unbelievable as it is, I ran into this duo AGAIN on sunday at my adult son's softball tournament. Again, held head high but had some pangs later (at home when I was all alone) as I relived how it used to be me and my ex side by side at hundreds of our kid's sporting events. I did get sad this time, but I know this will keep happening and the best thing is to stay positive and polite and not act bothered. But as always Sunday nights are my absolute worst nights. I tend to dwell on everything negative. I wish there was a way to stop this.....
dairytech
dairytech
Allowing yourself to feel it and articulate it helps to stop it...but it takes time. You are doing very well...you are much stronger than you think...Big Hugs....Kathy
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • MelT2020

    Things to do

    Posted by: MelT2020
    Last Reply: billwfriend
    5
    I've been struggling lately on what to do with my life since I no longer have a caregiver role. I decided to write a list of hobbies and things I like to do as a reminder to myself. I encourage you to create your own list of likes/hobbies/or things you'd like to try. Here's a few of my things:Going to the beachTrying new restaurantsMaking lists/planning for the future Road...
  • MelT2020

    Remembering 9/11/2001

    Posted by: MelT2020
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    7
    People who were alive during 9/11/2001 have a story of how the attacks on the USA impacted their lives. Feel free to share.....I graduated from law school on Sat, Sep 15, 2001 at age 24.  Many families did not attend the graduation ceremony because the airplanes were grounded.  I was a law clerk for a certain government agency for two years while in law school and was looking forward to a great...