I did forget this year until the next week.

For me its been 5 years, what I can't forget is the day he moved out. Moved out onto his new life with the OW, and left his kids and wife behind.

That day still bothers me

I've forgotten. Sometimes I notice it's the day but quickly dismiss. We hardly celebrated when we were married so I guess in the long run it was a good thing. Nothing to reminisce.

Well, I have concluded people are good at hiding things. I don't believe those who have been married long term are as happy as they promote. There is nothing wrong with promoting in order to make your spouse feel good, but after being here for a reallllly long time and seeing many long term marriages break up, I don't think it's a great as they say. Sorry to sound like a sad sack

It is my observation that marriages lasting 20 years or more are becoming more and more rare -- or perhaps it's a "generational" thing. Folks of my parents' generation had a much different set of values than most people do today. They got married, had kids and stayed together no matter what. How many of those until death do us part unions were truly happy, we will never know.

People of MY generation (who came of age in the late 1960's and early 1970's) were totally immersed in the cultural revolution that the U.S. was swept up in. Very few of my high school classmates that married right out of high school or college are still together. Many of them didn't even last 10 years!

I have observed the change of trend from high school sweethearts getting married to young women CHOOSING NOT to marry until they had their careers firmly established. That's a good thing! And the fact is, a LOT of young people today are simply CHOOSING to remain single.

It has been my opinion for the last 10 years that perhaps we as human beings have evolved out of "mating for life." When you think about it, 20 years IS a very long time -- and while you may have raised children together, once the kids leave the nest, it may be difficult (if not impossible) to rekindle the flame that initially attracted two people. Most of here have learned through our own experiences that if the communication wasn't good to begin with, it will ultimately break down when the nest becomes empty. Then comes the emotional disconnect. I'm starting to think that EVERYONE should have to renew their commitment to the marriage on an annual basis and if one partner falls short, then some serious work needs to be done. Perhaps if we were MADE ACCOUNTABLE on a yearly basis, there would be fewer divorces regardless of the length of the marriage.

As to the wedding anniversaries -- well, I made sure the now-X was SERVED with my Petition for Divorce on what would have been our 24th anniversary. He had run out on me 9 months earlier and I wanted to make a PROFOUND STATEMENT that I was tired of his b.s. and was NOT going to be kept on a string for any longer! These days, the anniversary comes and goes and I often don't even remember the day until later on.

Just my two cents for what it's worth.

Geez I doubt I will after 35 years..........perhaps If I ever find a bo it may ....but who knows

Kathi - I loved your input about having to renew your commitment to marriage on an annual basis. I can speak only for myself....I loved my husband and I think he loved me for most of those years, but we did get into a rut after all those years and probably took each other for granted. A yearly "check-up" probably would've been good for us. Oh well, too late now.
startingover - it's been 6 years since the ex left. I still think about our anniversary each year, but I don't let it get me down. I'm usually busy with work or something else so I don't dwell on it most of the day. For the first few years, I made sure I had something planned for that day such as a massage or dinner with a friend to help me through it. If we were still married, it would be going on 32 years. Now that makes me sad when I think about it. I think important dates whether good or bad remain with us.

What anniversary ?????? LOL I have two and cant remember either!

We never celebrated anniversaries or my birthday. I'm horrible about remembering dates like that. I filed on the 6th of May and out anniversary was the 15th. I didn't deliberately choose that date but it was the day he arrived at the airport for R&R from his overseas job. If I had waited I would be waiting another few months and lose the grounds I filed under.

I remember during the early part of the divorce he called to wish me a Happy Birthday. Then said while I didn't celebrate my birthday he just wanted to call. I happened to like celebrating birthdays but no one ever acknowledged mine and I got tired of making my own birthday cake.