I think I am afraid to date because I am afraid I will have my heart broken again. I know I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but not sure I'm willing to take the risk. I am left with a lot of trust issues. Not only do I not trust men, I don't trust myself enough to know if I could "spot" a liar again. Not to mention the self esteem issues, the body that no longer looks good, the wrinkles, etc. My friends tell me the same thing "It's just a date, nothing more" and when I am feeling good I think that's true, but when I am feeling negative I think "What's the point in just going out on a date?" This is something I am working on. I think I will pick up the book lftr68 has reccomended.

I was really afraid for awhile. There was a LOT of negativity in my head about dating and sleazy cheating men. LOL!

Be true to yourself. Know what you want. Know what is important to you. Be aware of what you have to offer. It is far more than wrinkles and puffy eyes!

You are a beautiful woman Chrissy! Inside and out. Any man that can't see that, can just keep on walking.

I have been on a couple of dates since the divorce and neither of them panned out to be anything more. They were not terrible experiences but we just did not share any chemistry. I must say that it does get easier after you get out there a few times. You begin to realize that you are still attractive and can still have a good time without having to compromise your principles. I have also been a member of a singles group for people over 40 since last summer. It is a group of men and women who have gotten together to have fun...it is NOT a dating club. We are allowed to date within the group but, so far, we have all just remained good platonic friends. We meet for dinner every Monday night and have a good time. We also have parties for special occasions. You might look to see if there is a similar group in your area. It helped me alot as far as getting me back into going out and you don't have the stress of the one-on-one experience of dating.

I have my usual other take on things.. I would not date until I was divorced, and I was asked out a by a few guys. The reason is that I know that I would not date anyone that was seperated or had not filed, and I know a lot of men of integrity that feel the same way, because they do not want to be hurt or get invested in someone that may reconcile. If they did not care I had not filed or was not divorced yet, I was not interested. If they were, they could wait until I was divorced. I feel the same way right now, I have met men who have filed but not divorced, same answer, call me when it is final and we will see..

We are very vulnerable when we are in this process. This is just my humble opinion and my rule for me. I really feel you need to get the process of divorce done and concentrate on that and come out the otherside. I married at 26, I had a few relationships before my ex, I feel there is plenty of time to have another, and for me this is what works..

I agree with MsTerey. I won't date while married and I will never date a man that was married. I don't care if he was going through a divorce. Call me when it is done. I don't want an ex to ever consider me the OW. That's what I would feel like even if he was going through a divorce.

I'm not looking to date while I'm still married either, but because my divorce is almost final, I have found myself open to the idea lately. 8 months ago I openly said NEVER AGAIN. My divorce should be final within a month, 2 at the most and because of this, I guess it has me thinking "whats next" - dating!!! Uuuuggg!!! Just the thought of it makes me cringe.

I'm not looking for anyone, believe me, but I guess it's a natural course as a human to crave another human's touch (not just sexually) but a comforting hug, holding hands, sweet and thoughtful kisses. That kind of thing. I miss that. How do you get that - dating!!! Uuugggg!!!!! Scary stuff.

Maybe I have an issue...but this is the way it feels/seems to me...

There aren't a whole lot of middle aged men who are worth dating out there.

After you sift through the crazy ones, the ones that cheated on their former wives (you can tell, even if they lie about it), the ones who are addicted to something (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.), the ones who can't keep a job, and the ones who are just plain weird and would drive anyone crazy, etc. etc. etc....there aren't too many left.

Every divorced middle aged woman I know ended up divorced because her husband was a loser in some way. That should tell us something about the dating pool. That's not to say that there aren't other situations; I know there are. But, I think there are an awful lot of really nice and decent divorced women and not so many divorced men. I think a lot of divorced men put on a good show though. They make it seem like they ended up divorced through no fault of their own. But, if you get to know them (or know people who *do* know them), you usually figure it all out.

I know there are good men out there. I just don't think there are a lot, ENOUGH to go around. LOL

I also think that internet dating is ruining it for women. It allows men to "carry on" in ways that they had not previously been able to. It is no secret that men love to date around (as opposed to investing time in "courting" A woman (as in ONE woman). In the past, men were much more likely to call it a day when they ran into a good woman, knowing that they may not get a chance with someone like her again. Now, they think there are millions of nice women "out there" just waiting to meet them.

Call me jaded, but that's how I feel.

I went on a date a couple weeks ago, first one in 26 years. We met when I was not even looking and i was with 5 other women sitting in Starbucks. We talked for an hour, then a few nights later we went to dinner and the movies. We have done the same again, and i have seen him for brief periods of time when he is at work. I was just myself. It was very nice. Go for it!!! Dont over think this.