Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I was talking with a friend last night discussing the topic of going back to the maiden name. I have been thinking that I would just keep my current name since I have basically had it all of my adult life. My friend said that I might want to reconsider. She said it is much easier to make the change at the time of the divorce. She asked me to think about having my married name five years from now. Will it be a constant reminder of who I was? So my questions for those of you who have made this decision is did changing back to the maiden name help you to redefine yourself? Was it a royal pain having to get new SS card, license, etc.? How difficult is it to explain to employers that your references know you by a different name ( Is there divorce prejudice in the workforce?). How did your children react to the change. My children are 25 and 27 and neither is currently communicating with their father. My son has already expressed an interest in changing HIS name. For those of you who kept your married name, do you ever regret it? I look forward to the groups wise words of advice!
It can be complex from a man's perspective. (When I say man , I am one that is honest true and trustworthy a man by who I live and the choices I make --- not a man by gender, I'm sorry that you seem to have had a lot of experience with those. Kind of like mine in the lady department as my wife us one by gender not by her actions )
I hope that my cheating adulterous wife goes drops me name.
She choose to cheat (she choose to soil herself)
She choose to divorce and destroy out children's family ( mama bird decided to soil the best then to burn it down)
She does not deserve the last name of the people that tonight me right from wrong that taught me to do right regardless of image to do right because they gave me a moral compass to live by.
My wife has zero remorse blames me for our marriage ending blames me for her infidelity and the kids in her classroom still call her by my last name.
Yuck
I think thats the way to do it. Forget this legal name changing crap.
For example, say you still go by your maiden name "Smith". But your husband last name is "Jones". You don't have to give your child EITHER surname. You can name your child "McDonald" if you want.