I kept my married name. I already had to change titles at the DMV to get the stbx off my truck and horse trailer. It was a real hassle because someone at the DMV had me do it wrong. It took all day to straighten that mess out and two trips across town. Then I was waiting to get my half of four retirement accts by QDRO. That took another 16 months. Like you I've had my married name over half my life and while a lot of people didn't know I was married I didn't want to be asked a lot of questions. I was trying to start a business; there was no way I was changing my name.

I earned that name and there were no warm fuzzy memories connected to my maiden name. A name is just a name that I happen to choose to keep or not. It holds better memories than my former name so I kept it.

It's my name so I kept it. My children also have the same last name and I love my ex-in-laws, they treated me like a daughter and still treat me well. It doesn't bring me any negative reminders. It's just my name. No regrets. You could always have it written into the decree that you can change it, then decide later. That way it would be less expensive and easier.

I wish that my cheating stbx would drop my last name.
She does not deserve it. She choose to soul herself and destroy our children's family it bake me sick to hear her elementary students call her by it.

I also kept my name. I thought long and hard about it and decided it just wasnt worth the hassle of changing it. I've had this name for many years and thought I would have more trouble finding me going back to my maiden name...that's not who I am anymore...so I kept it and I have no regrets...Big Hugs...Kathy

I kept my married name because it's my kid's last name. I don't think of my X when I hear the name, I think of my family-my boys and I.
I really haven't given it much thought-just felt like keeping it.

Hi Lori…I kinda wished I kept it just for those exact reasons….I have 3 kids

Thanks all for the replies. Seems like keeping the name isn't a big deal, and yes, my son does still have the same last name so I can always think of it as a shared link with him!

While reverting to your maiden name at the time the divorce is final can be done with the sweep of a pen (and no additional court-related costs) it can be more hassle than it's worth. I never changed my name when I got married -- I merely HYPHENATED it -- and I wasn't about to go to all the trouble and expense of changing my driver's license, car and truck titles, retirement and investment accounts and my U.S. Passport when I divorced. The name change is granted in my divorce decree, but 7 years later, I still have no intention of doing it.

I always say a rose by any other name is still a rose!

I did not change my name on the divorce because I had 3 kids with that last name. However, I wish I had a lot of the times. Actually looked into changing about a year ago and the cost and hassle associated with changing everything kept me from not. I have no plans of ever marrying again so the idea of being stuck with a name from a man that abandoned me and mostly has abandoned my kids is frustrating. Also its a very uncommon last name so I cannot just drift away. He could probably aways track me down with my name but that is doubtful if he would ever try. I felt I kept the name for the wrong reasons. I wasnt ready to let go when I divorced. Everyone in the small town I lived when married knows when they hear that last name, that I'm the ex wife of a lousy cheating drunk.

I would pay money to change now, but since I bought my new place in my married name, doesnt seem worth the time to get everything changed.

I did change my name. That does mean that I have a different last name than my children. They are okay with it. I decided to change it while I was separated, even before I had a separation agreement. I was so rejected by my ex that I just couldn't keep his name. I had hyphenated my name on my marriage so it was not difficult to drop the ex's name.
For me, changing my name helped me get back to the me I was before I married.

To change or not to change is so very personal. I was rejected by the family of my ex but not by my family. So the change for me was necessary.

I changed my name but it was rather easy as I never had changed my social security card some 31 years ago from my birth name. That must have been a sign that I was going to end up divorced?!!

I did ask my children before I made the decision and they were fine with my plan. I'm happy I did - I was always proud of my father and the name he gave me so I'm glad to have it back. He was much more of a man than my ex-husband ever was!

Just my thoughts:) Good luck in your decision. For me, it felt like a new start on life.

I think that you should do what is right for you, regardless of how much "hassle" it is.

I couldn't change my name back fast enough! I had used my married name for 23 years, but I was shocked at how easily I transitioned back - I think I maybe made a mistake twice (writing/saying my married name after the change).

I live in Canada, but had to change documents that included: passport, driver license, provincial health card, bank debit cards, credit cards, social insurance card (like your social security I think), car ownership and insurance, CAA card (like your AAA), name on my registered retirement plan, and of course my "official" government change of name document. Probably forgot a few things here...as will you. No big deal, it'll all get taken care of eventually.

Was some of it a hassle? yep. Did I mind? nope. It was important to me. Besides, names are always a source of interest to people aren't they? How many times has someone inquired as to the background / cultural ethnicity of your last name? If it's REALLY your ( birth) name, you can proudly say, yes, my father was Polish / Italian / German...whatever, as opposed to saying, oh, it's my married name :)

Re employment history, it's no big deal. After all, women who graduated from high school or college likely have their diplomas/degrees in birth names anyway! I have a photocopy of my official change of name document in my portfolio and always take it to interviews....especially important as I have some published work under my married name.

As to how it affects kids, well, so what! LOTS of blended families have two or more last names anyway. I don't imagine younger children would think twice about it! My own three grown sons were all supportive of me changing back, in fact they thought it made perfect sense! I am still their mother!

My advice to any woman getting married is NOT to change your name, but instead just assume your married name if you wish to be Mrs. and Mr. and your kids have the same name. Keep your identity!

humourous aside: since I moved to a new town post divorce and got a new vet, I even changed my dog's last name - and he didn't even notice :)

I never got the chance to change it. He filed for divorce after three years of separation. He had to pay for everything. I refused to pay. He wanted it he paid for it. Now he wants me to change back to my maiden name. Fine, you pay for it. I refuse to spend one more red cent for his stupidity. My kids do not care one way or another. Besides that they are barely talking to him anyway

I've been dealing with this issue also. I hate having his last name. I absolutely hate it. But....all of my professional titles carry that name and it would definitely be a huge hassle to change it. So for now at least, I 've decided to keep it. If I ever get remarried, or I become suddenly famous...lol...I will change it.

It's really an archaic tradition anyways......I'm suprised this generation of women still allows it.