The things i have heard are your ex must be loaded if it took over 2+ years to divorce, did you get everything? are you getting alimony? and crap like that! I even had one dick head say i didn't think they did alimony anymore and with that my reply was yes they do in fact mine is permanent, forever! He said that is not right and shook his head, he prob thought it wasn't right because he is a major looser, whatever I have zero respect for him anyways.

I felt like a failure as well for a while but thanks to this site i got over that and now i feel more like a success because i survived the divorce and i'm thriving!

And i do believe there are a few that are jealous because they see no way out of their own situations.

Rewrite the script hon and drop society's labels. The trick is not to own someone's negatitve labels. Disown it and choose your own. My church group gave divorce a new name...they call it having "independence". That's empowering.

I personally give divorce a new name. I call it being "single again". After all, I am not the same person after my divorce. Any person who has gone through a rebirth process, deserves a new and better name. It's your right to proclaim to the world your new identity. It's the new you. Just remember, it's not where you had been, ITS ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE GOING.

Labels don't bother me, and when someone says to me "oh, you are divorced?!" I say, "Yes, and I dvorced quite well, thank you very much."

It is annoying that on any kind of application of medical update you are supposed to check the box that says married or divorced. I am somewhat of a maverick, so I just check the box that says SINGLE. Hey, I AM single again -- even though it was divorce that made me single again. It's nobody's business but my own. And so far, I haven't had a problem with checking that SINGLE box.

Some people are just plain rude, nosy or crass. I don't owe them an explanation and like MsTerey, I can usually come up with something that will shut them up permanently. People who ask intrusive questions don't deserve a courteous reply.

Hey Cowgirlkathi, I have to remember that, check single box. I am going to do it for all forms that require that stupid answer. Smart girl. Yes, those people do not deserve a courteous answer. They steer clear of me now. Loud mouth and sarcastic to the quick.

SINGLE - check.

I am not going to define myself by the end of the marriage. Being married was a part of who I was. Being Divorced is not. Divorce is what happened to make me single again. Also Catholic, I resisted divorce and it hurt me, I didn't want to see the reality of my situation and thought faking it was enough. I was mortified at first. I hated that everyone knew, but no one really cares. They are busy with their own lives, bad marriages etc. Goodness, God let me know I had given X way too much power to make me feel worthless when He tells me I am so important to Him. God didn't like second position to a jerk in my life. Yes, people thought he was wonderful but where is he? They have their own delusions.

The type? If there was an obvious type we would steer clear? Funny how the reporters here in Colorado keep saying the Aurora shooter was so smart as if it is a shock that smart people can be really crazy. it took a bit for me to realize that a smart successful man that is pleasant to most people and keeping up a facade of being a family man is actually leading a double life and abusing me and about to really hurt me. Didn't want to believe those things go together.

J.E.D. - You don't need to justify, explain, or defend anything you do to anyone. Ask them why they are asking and throw it back on them. You could say "That is a strange (hurtful, obvious, cruel) question to ask." You don't have to answer them. Can't educate people who judge they just want to get their opinions out.

If you like to read, Safe People by Cloud and Townsend. The folks that are saying rude things to you are identifying themselves as unsafe, judgemental, maybe cruel people. Maya Angelou has said "when people tell you who they are believe them" You may need to "sort" the people in your life. For me, that left very few folks when I was done. That's OK. The relationships that are left don't deplete me. Haha.

I found this entry online and it says well what I am trying to...

When People Tell You WHO They Are Believe Them!
Maya Angelou once said, "If someone tells you who they are, believe them". Many times we don't. How many times have you heard someone say, in one form or another, "I'm not good", and we quickly dismiss it, and start to outline to that person all the "good" things they do. Well, in some instances you may be talking to someone who is suffering from low self esteem and they need a boost, but most likely you are talking to someone that knows themselves far better than you do and they are ALERTING you. Pay attention! Reg flag, folks.

A lot of miscommunication, delusion and illusion can be side stepped if people just paid attention the words and the actions of others. Especially the ones who are saying "I love you" yet there actions are screaming they do not. The man who says "I love you" then hits you, does not love you. The woman who says "I love you" but steps out on you all the time, doesn't love you. The friend who says "I love you" then sabotages your relationships, doesn't love you. In hindsight, if you look at the words they uttered prior to the actions they took you will see they told you exactly who you were dealing with. by Ms Lisa M

Give it time you are still processing. The more you say it the less sting it will have and the more you create yourself you will appreciate this oppurtunity to begin again and create the life you want.

Peace.

JaMama--BEAUTIFULLY SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((JaMama)))) I agree, well said. I also like what KRKing911's Mother said....just picked the wrong guy to be devoted to.

Amen JaMama : You got it on the nail. When People Tell You WHO They Are Believe Them!

I'll also add : to include someone's information about the person's character! At least, check it out for accuracy. Don't let it go unchallenged.