Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Thank goodness I found this group.
In short, I am a SAHM (age 48), 2 kids ages 13 & 10. After 14 years of a very turbulent marriage, we too are calling it quits.
Of course this is not what I want. But maybe I do? The fights, the agony of not feeling as though I can be "myself" around him and so on. He is a good person and good dad, but we are not good together.
That said, I am SCARED. I know I have to see an attorney which I will next week. I am not working and haven't worked FT for 12 years. I am overwhelmed. I know I need to find a job but also know I qualify for some alimony until I get my feet on the ground.
This will be his 2nd marriage. This is my first. He seems SO calm and chipper. After our last fight a few days ago, he took his ring off and threw it at me and declared, "I'm done!" Of course it disturbs me that he goes to work without it on. I also suspect he has an interest/crush on another (for some time now). Heck, he has not shown any physical interest in me in so long that I cannot remember (last year?). Call it women's intuition but at this point, I should just not even think about it.
Our kids go to away camp next week and that is when I will see an attorney. I think he already has or will do so as well.
I am terrified for my children. I know all of the tools/programs out there to help me and them. He didn't even leave yet, but I am barely able to hold it together. I cannot eat or sleep. He gets up each morning, works out and seems just so, well, unaffected. Perhaps relieved. I don't know.
Anyway, I am grateful that I found this site and it will be very helpful to get on here and not feel alone.
Have a wonderful day, all.
In short, I am a SAHM (age 48), 2 kids ages 13 & 10. After 14 years of a very turbulent marriage, we too are calling it quits.
Of course this is not what I want. But maybe I do? The fights, the agony of not feeling as though I can be "myself" around him and so on. He is a good person and good dad, but we are not good together.
That said, I am SCARED. I know I have to see an attorney which I will next week. I am not working and haven't worked FT for 12 years. I am overwhelmed. I know I need to find a job but also know I qualify for some alimony until I get my feet on the ground.
This will be his 2nd marriage. This is my first. He seems SO calm and chipper. After our last fight a few days ago, he took his ring off and threw it at me and declared, "I'm done!" Of course it disturbs me that he goes to work without it on. I also suspect he has an interest/crush on another (for some time now). Heck, he has not shown any physical interest in me in so long that I cannot remember (last year?). Call it women's intuition but at this point, I should just not even think about it.
Our kids go to away camp next week and that is when I will see an attorney. I think he already has or will do so as well.
I am terrified for my children. I know all of the tools/programs out there to help me and them. He didn't even leave yet, but I am barely able to hold it together. I cannot eat or sleep. He gets up each morning, works out and seems just so, well, unaffected. Perhaps relieved. I don't know.
Anyway, I am grateful that I found this site and it will be very helpful to get on here and not feel alone.
Have a wonderful day, all.
Welcome, I am somewhat new to this site also. It is a great support system & can bring you some well needed laughs from time to time.
Very sorry to hear about your situation for you & your children.
My children are grown so it isn't as bad for them. (25 & 31) But it still stinks to be ending a marriage.
Planning is a wise decision. I am in your situation as far as I am not working. My hasbeen (& possibly yours) may have found out that it is cheaper to keep her. We have been together for 40 years. Lol.
Take comfort that you are not alone. Any time, night or day, someone will be here for you. :)
Use caution because of the past physical abuse, ... You never know.
Prayers for you & yours, Thiscantbe