Or should I say, another slap in the face.

My ex-father in law was rushed to the hospital last night in very serious condition. He had a raging fever and couldn't breathe. It turns out he has a serious case of blood poisoning but they have gotten him on the right antibiotics and I hear he is doing better.

I was up North this whole weekend and this morning, I see 3 text messages from my daughter asking if my X told me about Papa. He didn't.

I called him to ask how his dad was doing and he relayed the story of what happened.

I then told him "I would appreciate it if he would let me know when something serious like this happens". His response....."I had communication with the kids, I figured they would tell you".

I simply said "ok, I get it" and hung up. What a slap in the face after 24 years with this family.

I don't even know if I should go visit my father in law in the hospital now. My X has made it perfectly clear that I am no longer "one of them" and I think I would just feel like a fool if I go visit.

The problem is....the kids don't want to go visit without me there.

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place....damned if I visit and damned if I don't. And I know beyond a doubt that they will blame me if the kids don't go and since my X seems to paint such a horrible picture of me, they probably don't even know he has purposely excluded me from any family situations such as this. They will think I chose not to visit.

I don't know what to do here. Am I trying to hold onto a family that doesn't want to hold on to me or is my X sabatoging any chance I have of staying in touch with them? I don't know....really confused as to what to do.