It is easier for her to deal with her guilt if she creates a villain that she can sell to friends and family. It is classic narcissistic behavior. She probably truly believes that you have these issues and only her superior intellect can diagnose your short comings.
Your best revenge is to be happy and smile at those who buy her BS. Take the high road and Karma will circle back around and run her down.

I agree with seeingthedawn. I think her texting you all the time is a ploy to get you to have some kind of angry outburst so she can't point to you and say "see, I told you so." Don't take the bait.

My ex too spewed similar lies to try to justify his actions, he thought that worked, until his real actions with the whore came to light. They don't care about what they are doing to the kids, it is all about them.
I say the same, divorce is over, he got what he wanted, he is living with whore in her home, has great new family, yet he hates me & wants to destroy me & alienate my children.
They should just go live their so called blissful lives & stay out of ours.
After all, their actions, their decisions, they should lose everything, hopefully karma exists, & their day will come.

They perpetuate the lies because it makes their story believable and justifyable in their own minds. Let it roll off. Just because she says it doesn't make it true. (I'm working on this myself)

Yep, she's deflecting blame because she can't look at her own guilt. Continue to be yourself with your kids, stay calm in the face of her accusations and lies, and show by your behaviour that you are not what she's telling people. Your kids will see what's going on in time, and maybe it won't be all that long if you can resist retaliation.

I don't know why they feel they have to give us a hard time when they're the ones who've cheated, but I think it's to do with projecting the anger they feel against themselves. They feel better if they can make us angry.

love and hugs
kamary

well. she's at it again. I was served papers last night, she's taking me to court for an Ex Parte. She's got me good because when I found out who she was cheating on me with I sent her some preety bad text. It was so long ago though I don't know how they can use them if she felt so threatened why didn't she call the police? I was an emotional wreck that night and wasn't thinking at all. I know she is just doing this to get even with me for having the police ask her to quit texting and calling me. It bothers me because it says I can't go to her place of employment which is the school my son goes to. So that means I can't go to his games or even Graduation. I have never laid a finger on her and have no criminal record so I hope this doesn't go through.She's just hurting my son by doing this.

I wish at some point she would decide that she made me suffer enough. I know some of this I brought on myself such as the text. But I asked her repeatedly to stop bothering me and now she pulls this stunt. My boys are trying to talk her out of this but I know it wont work its just another way to make me look bad and for her to feel good.

My ex told some people that I had an alcohol issue. deflect indeed lol. He didn't tell the people that saw me on a day to day basis or regularly as the lie would be found out. It worked for a few people who are not my friends anymore, but after a while what he said was found to be ridiculous. I was quite devastated at the time and in company felt embarrassed about what they were thinking of me. As if I hadn't gone through enough already. I don't know why.......I will never know why. I no longer care.....my ex is an idiot and most people know that now. xx

Hi lostWh,
You said :
I don't go around telling everybody that shes a whore and I wouldn't be lying about that! You would think she would consider what she is doing to the kids with all these lies. The divorce is over she wanted it she got it. Why doesn't she just leave me alone and let me move on and be happy

I never did that either , but once I did call her a whore when she came back the third time from visiting her old friend . I said that in complete uncontrollable anger that night . I will never forget it ..because it hurt me so much to call her that after so many years I loved her .... Even now ... it brings tears when I remember that night that I said that.
I never touched her either ......... Never .
Your x is trying to blame everything on you.
She's the one who feels guilty.
Your children know the truth ..........
Just go on with your life ................ Let her say what she wants to .
She's just looking more and more foolish.......... people see right through that kind of talk
Take care of yourself .. Timeman

Hi lost,
I have been livid at some of the lies my stbx has spewed about me. I mean to the point of shaking and feeling such intense pain and disbelief. I realized though that he is desperate to not have all the blame laying on his shoulders. I also realized that my kids know the truth as they lived here and saw it all for themselves. They shake their heads and ask him why he is trying to rewrite history when they saw it all? You know what he says? You guys are her robots and see it any way that she sees it. He really won't even acknowledge the pain he has caused them. The last night he was here he got in my face and said I am seriously about to hurt you. My daughter stood in front of me crying, sacred to death, and shaking and said "No you are not!" He told her to move the F out of the way. Her tears and fear meant nothing to him. That night did it for me for good!!! Last straw! When she says to him " Dad why should any child ever feel the need to protect their mom from their own dad? She says I should not even know what that's like! His answer is you don't know the things she said to me. He takes no responsibility at all. He continues to lie to a point that I wonder what will be made up in court. His family thinks he is clean and sober while the truth is his eyes are yellowing, he is losing weight and his health. It amazes me the lies that will come up when someone just cannot face themselves. At first I wanted to lash out so bad. But you know what? What's the point? He will still lie and deny. It would solve nothing. I don't respond to any of it! I maintain no contact. It's just all pointless to me. Deep down he knows the truth and so does God and thankfully so do most of the people he is lying to. That's gotta be enough for me. Deep down your Ex- wife knows the truth too as do those who know you well. The most important people to you aren't buying it thats a blessing Your situation sounds so hard especially when what she is doing effects and hurts your kids. I pray none of it keeps you from being a part of their lives. That would be a gross injustice. Hang in there!

She texted you after the game and you should have ignored those texts instead of getting sucked in. Someone enjoys drama. Don't participate in it anymore. Do not answer any more of her texts and ignore her, otherwise this will escalate. Chalk it up as a lesson learned. I had to learn it too. We did co-parent in the beginning so we had to talk, but when he wasn't getting his way and started bullying me, I just simply said "I'm hanging up now." Then did so. Made things so much easier for me

My ex said some horrible things about me but I know that was to make people feel sorry for him. I've had a lot worse said about me so anything he said or might still say I'm not worried about. He also told a lot of lies to cover the fact that he was still married to me. I stole his money, I trashed his farm (the one I'm still living on LOL) I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry at the tales he was telling. I ignored and laughed them off.

Take the high road and don't respond. Worry less about what she is saying and more about not setting yourself up for another stunt she can pull on you. The less you respond to her lies the better off you will be.

Yup, her games are on, I figured she was setting you up. It's her burden to prove she was in an element danger of physical harm AND that she appropriately responded in a timely without hesitancy. If she voluntary delayed her response, it usually indicates there was no drastic sense of danger. I would think her assumed complaint would be based on the interactions during the time period of POST DIVORCE. It wouldn't be likely the things you've done prior.

Your lawyer might be able to counteract her attempts by making a deal enabling you to drop off/ pick up your child with an assigned 3rd party present [which a witness provides protection against her accusations]. Your ex might be required to stand a certain distance away and must not initiate verbal communication [which is what you want]. Often it ends up that ex quite often dig a hole for themselves.

Sorry you're going through such frustration with your ex. It definitely sounds as though she's trying to make herself a victim, which will probably end up coming back to bite her. She's trying to justify her actions, and there is no justification for cheating. By attempting to make others look bad, she probably hopes to make herself look mistreated, thus gaining pity and attention from others. Try not to let her lies and deception get under your skin. Laugh at her feeble maneuvers and know that the truth always comes out. Always... She is only making herself look like a selfish, immature drama queen.

Just hugs my friend, everyone said it so well. My sweet innocent ex had one hand on the bible, and when he asked about whatever his parents gave us, he lied. I almost dropped. They made Edgar Allen Poe looke like an amatuer writer. Do not get pulled into her web of deceit. I would not even dignify them with an answer.