I agree it is something with them my ex was never content with anything, the house was to small or the house was too big. The only time she was happy was when their was some life changing event, like moving to another house or even another town or state. We were marrird 23 years and moved 18 times that I can think of. There was no way to keep her happy and content she was always looking for something else. I guess she's found who she thinks will make her happy, but I know shortly she'll be looking for something new again. I look back and see how tired I was of living like that, but I thought as the husband it was my job to keep my wife happy. I dreaded waking up on the weekends because she'd always get up before me and have some wild idea she'd sat and thought about. When she left all she'd tell me was she wanted to find her inner happiness and she loved me but she wasn't in love with me. What does any of that mean? I guess it's code for I found another man and it's your fault you couldn't make me happy. I'm glad she's gone I wish for the kids sake we could have worked it out because they know she cheated on me and have lost respect for her.

WHY !!!!
Who the hell knows !!!
When my x came back the first time after visiting her friend .
She was not the same woman. Once she was talking on the phone with him and I grabbed the phone out of her hand .. she got mad and said : It was only John .. I mean there was no respect or thinking about my feelings one bit .. It was like our 38 years never existed . Had no concern for my health what so ever . I had a heart attack a little under a year before she left . I wasn't suppose to have any stress . HA . . I think maybe sometimes that she wanted me to die .... It's hard for me to believe that .
So, ya your right . they just flip.
My fiend and use to say that they turned into zombies . same body ..looks ... just a different brain .. LOL
unfortunately we are the ones left behind .............. the zombies didn't get us !! LOL
We have all the pain . But .......... We must go on ........... maybe we can change like they did and not care for them anymore ....
WHY------------ who the hell knows !!!
Timeman

lostwh, My stbx was mostly happy when spending money. Buying something new. We were together 25 years, and I can empathize with a lot of what you're going through. Your exwife sounds like she is impossible to please. In time, this new guy she's with will not be enough either.

About a year ago, I actually asked my stbx what was wrong with me. I asked him "why am I lacking?". I had given and given for decades, but it was not enough. That is so stinking frustrating. Do you feel like you've been beating your head against a wall? I do. The good news is that you don't have to give all your energy to someone who didn't appreciate you.

At this point, I'm trying to keep my focus on productive things. And the fact, that I truly don't care anymore what he thinks of me. Or why I wasn't enough. But it took a few months to get to this point. Hang in there cause it will get better.

I have been on DS off and on for 5+ years since my X left. One thing that is very apparent with all the stories and people I have talked to is that the main issues are with themselves. They are narcissists, mid-life crisis, they had to make us the bad people so they had an excuse to leave. Not saying that we are all perfect here on DS, but for the most part, we would have done whatever it took to keep the marriage together. They copped out, they left, it's their issue. I can truthfully say that most of them, even though they seem happy, have not found true happiness since their departure from our lives. There are exceptions, although I doubt there are many. BUT, and here's the best part. For the most part, those of us that worked our way through the journey of pain and loneliness and betrayal and so many more emotions, have found our center and are much better off. We were not treated well, we were the healers and the givers and the ones that have held our families together with our children as their other parent went off into lala land. It's hard to settle it in your mind right now because it is so raw and painful right now. BUT, and I mean this truthfully, your life will improve. And once you get past the pain and start really seeing the reality for what it was, you'll see it was dysfunctional for a long time. It took me 3 years to admit to that. I still wanted to defend, even to myself, that I had a good marriage. As you read and learn and grow and process, you'll start finding the truth about all the stuff you actually put up with. I am still learning things along those lines.

Be patient with yourself and don't worry about her or what you THINK she is enjoying. The hardest thing to do is grieve the "dream" of what you thought you had. Once I figured that out, the healing was rapid. But it takes a process. It's a lot of work but as I've said many times, WELL WORTH THE JOURNEY.

Hugs to you.