That is an interesting statistic and I often think my Dad deserved sainthood for raising THREE daughters! But it's just a statistic.

The X helped me raise my daughter from a brief, teenage marriage. She got married and left the nest at age 20 and gave us our first grandson a year later. We had everything! Our farm was paid for, he had a great job making a fantastic living working only 3 or 4 days a week. We had savings, investments and fat retirement accounts. I figured out that he was RUNNING FROM HIMSELF and that's why he took leave of the marriage after nearly 25 years. What a dork!

You are right -- your X was just a depressed middle-aged man -- that's what MOST of these runaway husbands are.

And wives !

Sorry about that, refurb. I did not mean to sound sexist -- because I am NOT. Anytime I refer to "runaway husbands" please know that runaway wives are also implied.

Yeah I get the irony. Kings used to kill the queen for not producing boys.

My EX was not a runaway, he was a cheater and would have been happy to continue to live as a cake eater. He loved having a family to show off while doing his own thing. I decided I didn't want my kids to think that was a normal marriage.

(((HUGS)))

Interesting numbers. I have a hard time taking simple stats and using them to explain complex issues. They don't take into account things like addictions, childhood damage from neglect or abuse, narcissism, straight forward selfishness, etc. However, I got a good laugh: "no wonder my ex left. We had FOUR daughters!" Too funny!

That's funny

Those are very interesting statistics! We had 2 girls and a boy so that should have reduced our chances just a little? LOL

Your comment about the "over there" feelings has rung bells for me. My ex chose not to join in many of our family activities. He disliked picnics and parks so we did that on our own when they were little. As they got older, they mainly did dance, gymnastics, music, karate and t-ball. He disliked concerts and going to games and competitions, so would find reasons not to attend most of them, though he did make an effort for the special ones. He didn't like going to the movies so we did it without him.

The kids and I all share the same sense of humour and I did feel sorry for my ex that he would sometimes be left wondering what was so funny while we roared with laughter. He would regularly belittle the kids because they enjoyed American humour. He could only appreciate English comedy, while we are all able to enjoy all sorts, especially our very own Aussie. We didn't give him a hard time over it, but he regularly gave the kids a hard time over their choices of comedy.

The more I think about it, the "over there" stuff was all his choice. He opted to go on bikerides with his mates instead of being with us. Once the kids grew out of the sidecare, we really couldn't join him on his rides. We tried to include him but he refused to bend our way most of the time. How do you have family togetherness when it has to be all one way, or not at all?

love and hugs
kamary

kamary...my ex was similar to yours. He grew up with two brothers and their family was all about sports. He did coach our girls soccer and softball teams when they were young, but once they quit playing sports in their early teens, he really didn't have anything in common with them, but was still a good dad as he gave them everything...all got cars at 16 and again upon college graduation. Honestly, we did little as a complete family as the girls were all so involved in different activities that there was little time. My ex's big love was golf and he felt more comfortable around his co-workers and the whole corporate world. By the time he left me, he said he felt like nothing more than a paycheck. Again...HIS fault for not trying to include himself with us.

I agree with you, kamary...it was all our exes' choice to detach from the family unit. I, on the other hand, loved raising girls...buying such cute clothes, the piano recitals, dance, cheerleading, girls scouts, prom dresses, poms, show choir, etc...Of course I wish I had had one son, because honestly, to this day, am not all that comfortable around little boys. Dh has a DGS7 and I don't have a clue as to what to do with him. Anything he's interested is not interesting to me.

I have 2 sons.... it didn't help the ex to connect with his children! Either you do or you don't decide to be connected to your children and embrace their interests! I sometimes wonder what in the world to do with these 2 boys (young men) but then I remember I am their Momma!! :)

Between us we had three daughters. One mine, one his and one ours. He did his best to isolate from family. We never went out, I cooked every meal we ate. The worst thing we did was put a tv in our bedroom. That was where he lived and only came out to eat supper or get another beer. He left a son down in the Philippines. As far as I know that's the only son he has. He walked away from him too but the ex is a Narcissists. That doesn't excuse the things he did but explains a lot about how he lives his life.

I really question this data! Not that you read it or that it exists, just it's legitimacy! Seems odd to me, for instance, what OTHER factors are weighed?

My oldest son had a difficult adolescence, started drinking and doing drugs at a young age and it got worse and worse. My ex had a terrible time dealing with this, he was much harder on him that I. It put a strain on our marriage in that we disagreed over how to deal with him sometimes and also the ex's general negative demeanor was hard to live with in the best of times!

I just think there are so many more issues at play other than just gender if one is looking at that issue. My two cents!

LOL I have two daughters, so there's my answer.