Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Okay so most of you know my story. Married 29 years, cheating, disease carrying husband, ditched him, divorced him and became happy again. lol
So most know my how ex has played numerous games, (with me and 2 sons) left, wanted back, got kicked to the curb, bought another house, and remarried.
Then there was the "appearance" at place I work claiming he wanted ex back. Didn't mention me by name but said lived in this area for years, went back to home state/area, and hasn't spoken to ex but wants her back. Oh, then got married 3 weeks later (his 3rd).
Well, here is the new one. I got call today from work place. He was there again. Asking if I worked there. Not that I care because the hours I work won't affect my alimony (I checked with lawyer before taking job and I started before divorce went through).
Question would be: What the hell are you doing in my area yet again (3x in as many months) and why are you asking about me? I am your ex! I don't ask anyone about you. Why? Because you are my EX! as in ex-husband, ex spouse, ex-asshole!!!
I am NOT upset he was so close (less than 2 miles) or that this isn't the first time he has "visited" my hometown. I am PISSED that he can't take the hint, married or not, that I want nothing to do with him. I have been very point blank with him and told him "NO CALLS> NO TEXTS> NO ASKING ABOUT ME> NO FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE 2 OF US>
What is left? I am dealing with a narcissist who sees, hears and imagines his life as it should be. He is even telling his family he has established a relationship, rather good one, with our sons. Keep in mind they haven's spoken to him since the divorce. HMMMMM...what is wrong with this picture? Things will never change.
Do I believe he will keep trying? hell yes. Now I have become the object of his chase. The allurement is real for him. But very negative for me. Do not want him near me so wish me luck. I have even gone as far as creating a love interest hoping that will make him forget this thing he's doing. It will either make him see there is no chance or it will backfire and make him try harder. Wonder if his wifey knows what he's been doing?
So most know my how ex has played numerous games, (with me and 2 sons) left, wanted back, got kicked to the curb, bought another house, and remarried.
Then there was the "appearance" at place I work claiming he wanted ex back. Didn't mention me by name but said lived in this area for years, went back to home state/area, and hasn't spoken to ex but wants her back. Oh, then got married 3 weeks later (his 3rd).
Well, here is the new one. I got call today from work place. He was there again. Asking if I worked there. Not that I care because the hours I work won't affect my alimony (I checked with lawyer before taking job and I started before divorce went through).
Question would be: What the hell are you doing in my area yet again (3x in as many months) and why are you asking about me? I am your ex! I don't ask anyone about you. Why? Because you are my EX! as in ex-husband, ex spouse, ex-asshole!!!
I am NOT upset he was so close (less than 2 miles) or that this isn't the first time he has "visited" my hometown. I am PISSED that he can't take the hint, married or not, that I want nothing to do with him. I have been very point blank with him and told him "NO CALLS> NO TEXTS> NO ASKING ABOUT ME> NO FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE 2 OF US>
What is left? I am dealing with a narcissist who sees, hears and imagines his life as it should be. He is even telling his family he has established a relationship, rather good one, with our sons. Keep in mind they haven's spoken to him since the divorce. HMMMMM...what is wrong with this picture? Things will never change.
Do I believe he will keep trying? hell yes. Now I have become the object of his chase. The allurement is real for him. But very negative for me. Do not want him near me so wish me luck. I have even gone as far as creating a love interest hoping that will make him forget this thing he's doing. It will either make him see there is no chance or it will backfire and make him try harder. Wonder if his wifey knows what he's been doing?
Isn't this what is called "stalking" ? Isn't it illegal? Is your ex dangerous? It is doubtful his wife know about this.
You be careful and take care,
Lonelydove
love and hugs
kamary
and i give him no response of any kind which prob annoys him. door def locked all times
My sons are older and have their own minds and thoughts on the matter.. I choose to let them decide. So far they want nothing from him. He also has a daughter that refuses contact. Its all too messed up. But I also choose to live my life.
Just added info here....the wife is same ho he cheated with at least 2-3 yrs before divorce. Just figured out lately from info from daughter. So the time span to begin cheating again ( married or not) is about right.
I beg to differ, more importantly, a married man who is not yours is pursuing you at your work place is not ACCEPTABLE for any reason. Put a stop to it immediately....legally! Get it documented. Instruct your employment to keep your identity secured and call the police.
I'm not sure this applies..but...I have read that N's still feel ownership of their ex wives. Cheating on the new wife with the old wife..in their minds...is not cheating. I would put a stop to this as soon as possible...Big Hugs...Kathy
He cheated on me with this new wife so I know the N has no limits. He has never done me any harm other than mental or the HPV. (mind you that is way enough for me) But I know how he works so that is why I do no contact of any sort. He just keeps thinking, again my opinion, that there is always a chance I guess. I gave him so many in 29 years that he probably thinks I will again. He doesn't know that my limit was finally reached and I have no use for him. I have alerted neighbor who is retired policeman and he is always on lookout. Like I said my doors are locked at all times. I have a dog too. I won't live afraid of him. I just want to live.
Notify the authorities - at least get something documented! How many women have been hurt (sorry, don't mean to scare you....but it's a reality!) because they didn't want to 'make a big deal of it' or just thought it was 'harmless' and he'd never do anything?!
Do something about this. Please do! Best