Diets & Weight Maintenance Support Group

Chat about how well your latest diet is -- or is not -- working. This group is a great place to find support and accountability as well as share success stories and valuable lessons with the community. From where to start to weekly weigh-ins, get help from others to reach your dieting and weight maintenance goals.

5,208 Members
11,416 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Diets & Weight Maintenance Support Group

weight issues plus mom = misery

dsf95
dsf95
I was very overweight as a child until my junior year of high school. I know I had undiagnosed physical issues (lymphedema, severe varicose veins, thyroid problem) that really contributed. I am working on it still and progressing.

I am really tired of all the trappings that go along with being a plus-size woman. My mom gave me a shirt today that she said she couldn't wear anymore. Why do I feel like she does that to see how it fits me so she can compare my body to hers? If you knew her like I do, you wouldn't think I was being paranoid. Shopping for clothes as a kid was a nightmare. At TJ Maxx, everything was sized smaller that at other stores. Everything had shoulder pads and a slightly irregular fit. It was a nightmare to be 13 wearing old lady clothes with shoulder pads. And she would say things like, "oh, I thought that would fit you. Guess I need to get a bigger size"
when i am around her I feel like that fat ugly kid I saw myself as. I don't know what to do, except keep losing weight.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how you feel. My mom has tons of money and clothes and often passes things down to me that she know's I can't get into! She'll say, "This was way to big on me, I really thought it would fit you!" Totally crushes me. She takes me shopping sometimes and is really nice about it, but it totally sucks to be plus size. I get frustrated and just eat more!
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
Have you tried telling her that it hurts you when she says things like that?

If that has not worked, then how about refusing to take the clothing.

My wife taught me a secret many years ago. When you have an ongoing issue like this think up a very short reply and use it EVERY TIME your mom puts you in that position. Something like:

We have talked about this mother. I will not take your hand me downs.

Edit the language to best suit your situation, and say it exactly the same way each time. You may have to walk away just after you say it. (If you do, ignore what ever she says as you are walking away.)
JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn
I like Pepperman's advice and here is why. I am a mother, grandmother and while I do not try to give my clothes to children and grand children we have had so house remodeling done this past year. So when the kitchen chandelier was replaced I offered it to couple family members, also the old garage opener, almost new shower curtains. I got the "No Thank you" and it did not take long to see they are not interested in my stuff. I now take it to GoodWill.
Est3lle
Est3lle
Yeah I was overweight as a child and my mum used to call me names!!! This gave me a real low self esteem and I still struggle with those issues as an adult!!!! Its soo sad hopefully you can work through this
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it would be great for you to make a rule for yourself of just saying, "No thanks," when your mom offers you clothing. If she pushes you on it, you can say, "It's not my color," or, "It's really not my kind of thing." If she keeps pushing you, just say, "Really mom, no thanks," or, "I'm really not interested in it, mom," and change the subject. You don't have to get angry, you don't have to have a big drama over it. Just keep saying "No" in a firm but courteous way. I think that setting a boundary with your mom about this might help you move past feeling the way you felt when you were 13. Best of luck with it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it would be great for you to make a rule for yourself of just saying, "No thanks," when your mom offers you clothing. If she pushes you on it, you can say, "It's not my color," or, "It's really not my kind of thing." If she keeps pushing you, just say, "Really mom, no thanks," or, "I'm really not interested in it, mom," and change the subject. You don't have to get angry, you don't have to have a big drama over it. Just keep saying "No" in a firm but courteous way. I think that setting a boundary with your mom about this might help you move past feeling the way you felt when you were 13. Best of luck with it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it would be great for you to make a rule for yourself of just saying, "No thanks," when your mom offers you clothing. If she pushes you on it, you can say, "It's not my color," or, "It's really not my kind of thing." If she keeps pushing you, just say, "Really mom, no thanks," or, "I'm really not interested in it, mom," and change the subject. You don't have to get angry, you don't have to have a big drama over it. Just keep saying "No" in a firm but courteous way. I think that setting a boundary with your mom about this might help you move past feeling the way you felt when you were 13. Best of luck with it.