Time... and positive attitude.
I had gastric bypass surgery & within the community of people I met, I know tons of people who have image issues.
One gal was over 260 @ 5'5"... now she's probably 130... has been for over 5 years... and she still has body image issues and gets teary when she talks about it. She is beautiful & healthy & takes wonderful care of herself, but it doesn't change her eyes.
You have to just keep your self in check. Remind yourself how wonderful you look and feel. Find some friends who will remind you when you can't...
Best wishes & hugs...
Weight, for anyone who struggles, will always be a struggle, even when you get to where you think you'd be happy.
A

First of all, you have to try and let go of all the terrible things your ex had to say to you. Honestly, can you even really believe him? If he says he lied then, he may be now, and he is not even worth your time or energy if he is going to be so negative and hurtful. Next you have to start appriciating yourself and admit you are worth more than you are letting yourself. We are all different, and sometimes I think we hide behind our weight to hide from something else! There are plenty of very thin people out there that do not like themselves either, it is not always about the weight. You deserve to be happy, to love yourself and live life to the fullest!
With that I can say I would LOVE to have even your old weight and would LOVE to be even close to as tall as you are!!!! Take things one day at a time, this is a good place for support! I wish you all the best!!!! (I will not step off the soap box..LOL...hope that was gentle enough!)

Hi! Well I have to say I have been where you are now. No matter how much weight I lost, to myself I was always overweight and fat. I felt ugly, even when people told me how good I was looking, how healthy I was looking etc etc, for some reason my mind would always win, my mind would always tell me that I was still overweight and looked disgusting.

It got to the stage where I stopped eating and all I did was excercise etc.

I still have the pair of jeans I used to fit when all that was happening and looking at them now, I wonder how on earth I let myself get that skinny.

What happened? Well one day I realised I was getting sick, I was getting too skinny and I hated how fat I looked (not) so I reversed it and I comfort ate...no sooner did the weight fall off...on it all went again ..and then some!!

I put back the weight on again in quick time and if I thought I looked fat when I was so skinny...then image what my mind did when I was obsese. I hated myself even more...so I ate more..and so on.

If only I listened to all my good friends and those around me, if only I trusted the ones that had never let me down.

Today I on another journey and are losing all that weight aain, but this time I am doing it beliveing in me. Eating the right foods and excersing and most of all smiling.

What changed me this time? I realised that I had nothing to complain about when there are others out there suffering and dying from diesase etc. I am not saying that because that is what helped me, it will help you...I am not saying because you are not doing so good does not mean you have to stop cause others out there are worse off.

I guess what I am trying to say is....you are you, you are beautiful, and you must look great! Please take a look in the mirror and instead of looking at the imperfections, have a look at the real you and see that you are one truly beautiful person.

People can control us by saying some pretty awful things and our minds start to work overtime. It's time to give the mind a rest and take another long look in the mirror and see the real you!

Try not to get where I did and hate yourself that much that you start eating the wrong foods and put it all back on again, just to feel miserable.

I am ok with myself now, I love whom I am and everytime another pound comes off..I look past all the strech marks, all the fat rolls and think how sexy I really am!

Good luck and thank you for sharing your story!

It sounds to me as if this man was trying to hurt you. I'm guessing that when you seperated he still found you as beautiful as he ever had but lashed out to get a reaction. You must have worked exceptionally hard to lose 40 pounds and I think you should take time to give yourself the credit you so richly deserve. I don't think you have a weight issue, I think you have a confidence issue caused by someone you obviously once acred about putting you down. Surround yourself with the people who see your beauty - I bet there are quite a few. They can't all be wrong.

Congratulations on the weight loss. I am 5'8" and weigh 210 pounds. My final goal is where you are now.

bambam -- I suggest you join the "eating disorders" group, and discuss your image issues with some others who have been there as well. 5'11" and size 5 is DEFINITELY small enough! I got myself down to 93 lbs at 5'4", and was still thinking I needed to work harder to lose weight -- and guess what? It was because my Fiance' left me for another (skinnier) woman... he didn't say the hurtful things, but I internalized that message anyway. I stopped having my period, started having terrible cramps to the point of passing out in the ditch while jogging... You can do terrible things to your health in the attempt to lose more weight than you really should. The best 'revenge' is not getting skinny, but getting HEALTHY, mentally and physically, and getting ON with your life! Screw the jerk!!!!!!