You know, I'm a teacher, and I'm always telling kids to be nice to eachother, not tease, not call names, et cetera. So the other day, when my daughter was asking why all of my clothes are so boring, and I told her I was "a big, fat blubbo", she about fell over! But, like you, I'm being honest with myself -- I need to stop equivocating and just own up to it; I'm not pleasantly plump or a little overweight, I am FAT and UNHEALTHY, and can't ignore or downplay it. I have no idea if YOU really are, but I am!! Bleh.

Constantly calling myself fat angered me to the point of pushing myself harder during my workouts at points I felt like simply quiting. I would tell myself, "You're fat! If you stop now you will always be fat!" As silly and perhaps even childish as it sounded, it worked for me.

Of course I would never call another person fat, except for certain friends I know I could get away with calling them fat (mainly because they are proud of their size).

Lorriejean,
Vent girl! You cannot build that type of frustration too long in yourself. I use to scream into my pillow...LOL..... until my kids were old enough to ask why I did that. (embarassed) We all vent...even the smaller sized people. Hey, you are honest, right!? RIGHT! Stay strong and yell into your pillow once in awhile........
Hugs,
Glo

I ascribe to the principles of "The Secret" and one line they say is "What you think about you bring about". Think of yourself as healthy and strong. I have difficulty with this as well.
Hopefully we learn from mistakes. All we have is this moment. Lamenting about past failures keeps us locked in that mode. Everything I say here I have problems with myself and it helps me to write them down.
I am so glad for this forum as a place to share and get feedback. Thank you.