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dieting psychology....help please

bambam
bambam
Does anyone have any thoughts on how to get the stbx's negativity out of one's head?

We've been separated for a few months now, and I have been working on moving on. I have a new place, a new job, new friends and yet, I am still under his mental control every minute of everyday! And it's all about me and the way I look.

During our break up, he made comments about me (my body, my face, my 'deformed legs' - which btw, aren't deformed, just toned from swimming differently from his - and many really specific comments about my stomach). Now that I don't have him in my daily life, I can't get these things out of my head - it's gotten so bad that I can't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to throw up! I've talked to a doctor about helping me lose weight, I've gone and bought weight loss pills - nothing is working and I think it is all psychological.

I can't get it out of my head, and I really need this to stop.

Any thoughts....
kellygrn
kellygrn
Isn't it strange how they wait till it is over to tell you all that crap.

On the mirror in the bath room, have a list of positives about you. It took 10 years for me to get over what my husband said to me. But I did & so can you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
isn`t it ironic how the negative stays with us so much more then the positive...you are not as fat ugly or anything that he said you are...they say it cause they are mean, spiteful, jealous, and other things.. they have issues with themselves so they make others feel bad so they can feel better...it all starts with self esteem and loving yourself..you have to want to change for yourself because its what you want not what someone else thinks...when you think of the negative things he said to you..try to offset it with something positive that you have been told or think of something about yourself that you really like..like me I have an awesome smile with 2 big dimples..also I have really pretty eyes...trust me it does help...all the best to you
deleted_user
deleted_user
Constantly reinforcing the positives to yourself is a definite important step--no question about that. Another thing I've found effective after ugly breakups? Focus your disgust with him on your workout: try kickboxing, but picture his face on the bag; get on the exercise bike, and when your legs start to ache, power through it by thinking about each turn of the pedals twisting some sensitive body part of his... Not to advocate violence OR hanging onto anyone negative for too long, but redirecting your emotions into something that's positive for you physically can sometimes help you be able to move on mentally/emotionally too. In other words, one day when you get on that exercise bike, it won't even occur to you to think that you're "hurting" him--you'll just be riding away and leaving him in the dust, where he belongs. Good luck!