You said it yourself you can't make a horse drink. From the sounds of it he could be getting ready to have a severe heart issue. The sleeping a lot, short of breath, not eating right, obese, age, and other things lead me to a memory of myself months before my heart attack. So I'd say be ready for that.

He needs counseling IMO. He probably is depressed and could care less about his health. Has he always been this way or did it progress? If it was a progression do you know if it started because of an inability to control his numbers? If that's the case he may not be making his own insulin anymore. That happened to me. That's when I got put on insulin.

Diabetes is a huge terrible circle.. High blood sugar can really cause a huge dark cloud over me.. Even after just one day of poor numbers. I can tell if my sugar is high in the morning, I'll wake up just in a crap mood.

Maybe he just needs educated about the disease. Sometimes people ignore diseases when it's really just a lack of knowing what and how to do things to help themselves. I am sure he has had some kind of education being that you're a nurse, but frankly you need to step back and not try to be his doctor or his mother. He's a grown man and while we as women want to help our men through tough times especially when we really do have the knowledge of how to do it, we just need to remember they are our equal and need to be treated as such. If he doesn't want to take care of himself there's really nothing you can do but be there for him when he is ready or when he faces the complications of the disease. Or you can choose to leave the entire situation. I only say that because I know for some a spouse not caring enough about themselves to take care of themselves is a reflection of how they don't care much about the relationship.

At any rate, you can't force him and you could be causing resentment on both you and his side. Supporting a sick loved one is a very hard tightrope to walk without stepping on that person's toes.

I do commend you for wanting to do everything you can to help but it sounds like it's time to give him the reigns and let him choose to take care or not.

For your own sanity.....leave him alone you can't help someone who does not want help. I know I tried it. All it does is drag you down.

Sometimes when they find ou t you don't care.....they start caring.

as said, you cannot do this for him, he needs to realize only he can control his life, have you thought of counseling, talked with his doctor?

Thank you all for the advice, i try to do the best sometimes i watch him just get up and sit down to watch tv and he is asleep with in minutes,this goes on all day,i think he is a ticking time bomb,he has started complaining of sharp pains in his left side kidney area so we will see what this is,his numbers have been out of control for sometime .

I'm sorry.. It's hard to watch someone you love go through tough times that if handled better maybe they could have avoided the tought times. But it's all you can do. Just be there for him when he asks and needs you.

There is nothing you can do. My late mother was a nervous wreck trying to get my father to eat right. Even the Dr. could not make him understand. My mother just gave up. She died of a heart attack at the age of 83 and he died 18 months later at the age of 84.