Day in day out my depression stares me in the face. I have no joy, happiness or calm in my life. The hobbies I've tried litter my home unfinished. The simplest things overwhelm me. Everything that once brought me peace, meaning no longer does. Reading, baking, gardening, listening to music, helping others. I have no pride in my home, myself, my family, my pets. I while away the hours wondering if death would really bring an end to suffering or if it could be worse somehow.
I've called a number of psychiatrists to make an appointment to see about getting back on meds. I explain how I'm feeling; the earliest appointments are 9 - 10 months away. That adds insult to injury. Obviously I'm not worth saving/helping let alone the time of day. I'd go to the hospital but can't afford the copay. They are vicious about demanding payment up front here. My husband was in active congestive heart failure in the emergency room and the financial officer would not give way to treatment until I paid the hundred dollar copay which at the time I didn't owe as I had met my maximum out of pocket obligation (took me 17 months to get reimbursed). I didn't think they could withold life saving treatment like that. Guess I'm wrong. I wouldn't survive rejection again.
It's just another day I don't know how I'm going to make it through.
Hello dear friends, Henry is my name, I am 54 years old, i lost my family in the earthquake that hit Indonesia in 2018, though it has not been easy for me but am ready to mingle
Do ptsd symptoms come in waves...or seasons? The end of November of last year through March/April of this year was pure hell. Nightmares, triggers, feeling raw and afraid all the time. I felt like I was losing my mind.But I feel like its lessened up since summer rolled around. Almost like I'm back to normal. Like...I'm not this raw ball of fear and anxiety i was a few months agoMy therapist...