Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I know that I'm worthless, not worth helping, not worth listening to and the people around me know it too. I'm at the point now where I would rather be dead than living another day of my misrable existance, but a razor to my wrist doesn't dull the never ending pain anymore. I walked past some train tracks today, wondering if throwing myself in front of a speeding train would be any better. The cars I passed on the road weren't going fast enough and the lake I wanted to drown myself in wasn't deep enough. Pill bottles are looking a little too advertising at the moment, but I don't want to wake up afterwards with a bad headache. If there was a surgery to remove your emotions, I would sign up in a heartbeat. I want to wake up tomorrow and be normal. I'm sick of being me. If there was a pill you could take to forget your entire life, I'd be first in line. But that's never going to happen, so my only other option is to die.
Just try to do the smallest things. At this point changing your emotions, much less changing your thoughts, is likely impossible. So focus on what you do. When you are feeling that low, try to get out of it. Slow your breathing down. Dunk your face in cold water while holding your breath. Do it again. And again. And again. Your brain will start to think you are drowning, and the resources it had been giving to your depression, your anxiety, will lessen. It won't make you feel good, but it usually will calm you. If you get there, then do other behavior that helps to change thoughts and emotions. Try to go for a walk. If you can handle it, try to do something more vigorous, if only for a few minutes. Get out and be around other people - go to a mall, a park, a restaurant, a bar, a coffee shop. Doesn't matter if you don't talk to anyone - just be around other humans. Text or call that friend that you haven't talked to in a while who you know is likely to respond. Make contact. And then congratulate yourself on doing even some of those things, because even that is a tremendous accomplishment.
Currently going through emotional problems myself and feeling like a ghost. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Try outputting that frustration onto paper. Even writing poems and other artistic medium could help get those ideas out.