Thank you for this board, for just having to have a place to post, and for the responses. I am training for a new career as I am done listening to myself complain, as I sure are other people. I'm just about done with the first introductory course of a career path that I didn't think I was going to take. I really enjoy what I am learning except for the myriad technical problems that I run into. Today my computer totally froze and I was unable to use it for a while. I was however able to get it working again. I'm at a point where I can fix basic technical issues, so I did not have to call anyone. It took me about 2-3 hours to move TONS of data to an external drive. It did get my computer working again though. There was just so much data on it the thing choked up. Then I had technical issues which delayed things another 2-3 hours so I short-circuted it and called it a day. My god.
I'm just hoping that somehow I'm not let go from my current position until I can progress through my new studies (I hate to utter this out loud and bring it into my reality). The career is just not right for me. There is every sign there that I've been on the wrong path these past 15-yes 15 years. Yesterday there were two violent confrontations at the small high school at which I work, I could feel the anger in my body before the explosion (other people's-not mine). I was scared. I've seen a lot of violence in schools. Prior to that, there was construction going on outside so loud it was disrupting my classroom, construction workers shouting the f word, disturbing my students (my principal brought the head construction guy to talk to me about it-which I didn't like, after I brought it up to the prinicpal.) The cleaning crew is paid their paycheck yet refuses to clean-we come to work to a restroom with filled up sanitary pads til we are going to retch, debris all over the floor, filthy tables, and I clean it myself now like a good 45 minutes a week it's so filthy. The obstacles seem insurmountable. I feel like they pretty much turn a deaf ear. I get petty complaints like, "As an instructor, we just don't like the sound of your voice...just something about your voice...I dunno..." How about go stick it? Every job has been this way the entire career and I don't care anymore. I mean I would not like anything bad to happen, I need my paycheck, but it's like how much longer can this go on? I had one adult student shouting at another yesterday. What do you do? I'd get some routine job while I finish my schooling but it seems these places don't want professionals for routine or menial work if you have a long resume. I dont' know. I want to focus on possibilites. I wake up earlier to get there on time, drive a long way, prepare all my meals ahead at night...still seem to always run a few mins late. The whole thing feels freaking impossible.
its too much to handle. Just as I’m googling how to sleep when feeling a little anxiety I get a message from work that is bad real bad. I can’t do this anymore. I need to got out of this and I don’t know how. I have no help and it’s too much for me to take