Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Thank you for this board, for just having to have a place to post, and for the responses. I am training for a new career as I am done listening to myself complain, as I sure are other people. I'm just about done with the first introductory course of a career path that I didn't think I was going to take. I really enjoy what I am learning except for the myriad technical problems that I run into. Today my computer totally froze and I was unable to use it for a while. I was however able to get it working again. I'm at a point where I can fix basic technical issues, so I did not have to call anyone. It took me about 2-3 hours to move TONS of data to an external drive. It did get my computer working again though. There was just so much data on it the thing choked up. Then I had technical issues which delayed things another 2-3 hours so I short-circuted it and called it a day. My god.
I'm just hoping that somehow I'm not let go from my current position until I can progress through my new studies (I hate to utter this out loud and bring it into my reality). The career is just not right for me. There is every sign there that I've been on the wrong path these past 15-yes 15 years. Yesterday there were two violent confrontations at the small high school at which I work, I could feel the anger in my body before the explosion (other people's-not mine). I was scared. I've seen a lot of violence in schools. Prior to that, there was construction going on outside so loud it was disrupting my classroom, construction workers shouting the f word, disturbing my students (my principal brought the head construction guy to talk to me about it-which I didn't like, after I brought it up to the prinicpal.) The cleaning crew is paid their paycheck yet refuses to clean-we come to work to a restroom with filled up sanitary pads til we are going to retch, debris all over the floor, filthy tables, and I clean it myself now like a good 45 minutes a week it's so filthy. The obstacles seem insurmountable. I feel like they pretty much turn a deaf ear. I get petty complaints like, "As an instructor, we just don't like the sound of your voice...just something about your voice...I dunno..." How about go stick it? Every job has been this way the entire career and I don't care anymore. I mean I would not like anything bad to happen, I need my paycheck, but it's like how much longer can this go on? I had one adult student shouting at another yesterday. What do you do? I'd get some routine job while I finish my schooling but it seems these places don't want professionals for routine or menial work if you have a long resume. I dont' know. I want to focus on possibilites. I wake up earlier to get there on time, drive a long way, prepare all my meals ahead at night...still seem to always run a few mins late. The whole thing feels freaking impossible.
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And its already been noted by the weather service as heat advisory today thru Wed here.I have a rack of St. Louis Cut Pork Ribs. I will use a charcoal snake method of two rows on bottom shingled around about 3/4 of way on outside of the grill. Then on top of those I will shingle a single layer of briquetted same around 3/4 of grill. Adding some chunks of wood every 3-4 inches around the grill.I...
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Hope the dog days of summer aren't getting you down!
options you have. There might be some sort of job you have not thought
of that you could do while you train for your new career.
Orion, it seems that you are trained to fix things. So naturally, your mind is asking "how" questions, and "what is the stopping line" questions. I know the feeling. And this attitude comes with any person with professional experience. We are just hardwired to seek for answers, because we explore something new on a daily basis. And it only opens further and further, searching and learning, thinking that we have the answers, and we don't, losing out and then finding a new way to get by; that's life.
...and I'm happy for you that this board is available for you to vent your strong issues. I hope for all of us harmony in life. We just need to try more at not focusing on the "excellent" idea of things. The brain does not have to digest every bit of new information. The older folks would say, "Take it in stride." And many of them have died off, so I have no way of asking just what that means to them. And it could be a wise way of passing on that we all can't clear up every confusion, and the right thing to do or say is not inevitably what people will try to do, so we just buckle down to finding our on choice of harmony in life, and try to be happy with that.
Nonetheless, I offer you the best...many hugs to you today! :-)
Firstly never accept silly criticism such as the one about your voice. Valid criticism yes. Silly -no. If it happens again state it's vexacious.
As to the two adults shouting - that sort of stuff happens in education. You have to accept that..it ain't a personal reflection of you . If you don't accept that's part and parcel of life it will always upset you. Accept it and it won't.
As to getting another job that's less stressful while you study. Simplify your CV and dress etc and apply.
I was moved by your post because I know what it is like working in an atmosphere that is suffocating, combative, and draining. I taught 5th and 6th grade for 20 years. My first 5 years were amazing and education was fun and creative. The next 5 years seemed to take a turn, but it was still fun and for the most part, delightful. By the 10th year, education had become political and the administration was prideful, cruel, unethical, and unsupportive. The teachers were criticized, undermined, and expected to perform multiple entities that were almost impossible. I was sick going to work on a daily basis. I decided to resign at the end of my 20th year not knowing where I was going. I only knew that I could no longer be a part of such a wicked district. I love my students and knew that I would always impact children esp. adolescents. I had decided to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy a year and a half earlier, preparing for my transition. However, everyone thought I would wait until I graduated (3 year program) before exiting teaching. I took the plunge early and by divine intervention I was hired at a private practice agency as a community psychiatric support team member offering therapeutic behavioral services. CPST and TBS services have been a joy to give to my adult and children clients. Don't give up, even when things look bleak, you have a purpose and we know intrinsically when our time has come to an end in certain places. The door will find you if you have faith!!
Wishing you All the BEST!!!
Honeybee