Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
WHY does it seem like everything, even the things that I'm BEST at, SOMEONE around me is ALWAYS better?!?!?
It makes me feel like I have nothing going for me because someone always takes the spot in life that I wanted.
For instance. I'm a funny person, I guess. I make people laugh. Great.
I play the piano (fairly well if I do say so, and my friends say so). Wonderful.
I play many instruments, including the saxophone, and I'm damn good at it in school.
But look at this.
There are people at my school that always have something on me.*names have been changed*
Allen-Hilarious. very cute. Many people enjoy his humor. All the teachers like him. He's a good student. He's a swimmer, not bad looking, and is a natural born leader.
My status: Beat.
Cody- Again, Hilarous. Best friends with Allen. Many people enjoy his humor also and teachers like him. He's also a good student. He, also like Allen, plays in the band. And, is also good at it. He's pretty good looking himself. He has a nice girlfriend. An amazing father. And is also a natural born leader.
My status: Torn.
David- He is the most AMAZING pianist I've EVER heard. He's a senior and can play the piano 50 times better than I can ever imagine myself playing. Again, also a comidian. Friends with Allen and Cody. They make an awesome comedy together. He's really smart. And I need to say it again. He is AMAZING on a piano. Really. He can play things through memory like you wouldn't believe.
My status: Completely Jealous.
Nikki- Fellow saxophone player. Very quiet, but everyone seems to like her. She beat me in first chair this year. So now, I'm second chair. She played in Districts on her saxophone. She's well liked. She's really pretty and unique. My freshman and sophomore years in high school I had two other saxophonists in front of me who were seniors in my sophomore year. they went to collage for music. I couldn't beat them. Nikki was fourth chair, I was third. Then, my junior year, Nikki ended up with first chair, and I had second chair. I guess I didn't try hard enough.
My status: Hurt.
I don't get it. It seems like everything I do is 2 steps behind someone else that I'm really close to. I can't come out on top. And it makes me feel inferior. I hate it. And I'm trying my damnedest. But now, I ran away, just like I always do. I went back to cyber school. And then did the unthinkable...I dropped out of band. I LOVED band. But I couldn't take being around people who I always came second to and was always unnoticed no matter how hard I tried. I'm sorry to myself. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder. *cries*
It makes me feel like I have nothing going for me because someone always takes the spot in life that I wanted.
For instance. I'm a funny person, I guess. I make people laugh. Great.
I play the piano (fairly well if I do say so, and my friends say so). Wonderful.
I play many instruments, including the saxophone, and I'm damn good at it in school.
But look at this.
There are people at my school that always have something on me.*names have been changed*
Allen-Hilarious. very cute. Many people enjoy his humor. All the teachers like him. He's a good student. He's a swimmer, not bad looking, and is a natural born leader.
My status: Beat.
Cody- Again, Hilarous. Best friends with Allen. Many people enjoy his humor also and teachers like him. He's also a good student. He, also like Allen, plays in the band. And, is also good at it. He's pretty good looking himself. He has a nice girlfriend. An amazing father. And is also a natural born leader.
My status: Torn.
David- He is the most AMAZING pianist I've EVER heard. He's a senior and can play the piano 50 times better than I can ever imagine myself playing. Again, also a comidian. Friends with Allen and Cody. They make an awesome comedy together. He's really smart. And I need to say it again. He is AMAZING on a piano. Really. He can play things through memory like you wouldn't believe.
My status: Completely Jealous.
Nikki- Fellow saxophone player. Very quiet, but everyone seems to like her. She beat me in first chair this year. So now, I'm second chair. She played in Districts on her saxophone. She's well liked. She's really pretty and unique. My freshman and sophomore years in high school I had two other saxophonists in front of me who were seniors in my sophomore year. they went to collage for music. I couldn't beat them. Nikki was fourth chair, I was third. Then, my junior year, Nikki ended up with first chair, and I had second chair. I guess I didn't try hard enough.
My status: Hurt.
I don't get it. It seems like everything I do is 2 steps behind someone else that I'm really close to. I can't come out on top. And it makes me feel inferior. I hate it. And I'm trying my damnedest. But now, I ran away, just like I always do. I went back to cyber school. And then did the unthinkable...I dropped out of band. I LOVED band. But I couldn't take being around people who I always came second to and was always unnoticed no matter how hard I tried. I'm sorry to myself. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder. *cries*
Never try to be better than others just try to be better than yourself and who you were yesterday.
The point of the post:
A vent, I think.
Maybe I was just hoping that someone would say something to make it hurt less that I seem to think everyone else is better than I am.
Truth: I know there is always going to be someone better. And I inda wish I was someone else. A lot of the time I tend to think that way. Because I feel like I have nothing going for me when I see others getting the glory and acceptance that I so strive for on a daily basis.
I just don't know what to do about it to make MYSELF feel better. I'm just not sure how. I've come across these feelings before, and so I tried to focus on one thing that I wanted to make better in my life. And I tried it a few times. And time after time, it was failure. So I tried focusing on something else. And then after a long time of trying, I kinda gave up and pronounced my life: failure.