First of all, your life insurance policy won't pay if a you commit suicide unless you bought your policy prior to them adding suicide as an exclusion. However, I too have often prayed for God to take me home. I see nothing wrong with wanting to be out of such anguish. But suicide is not the answer. I don't believe God wants us to harm ourselves. We have lessons to learn. Very hard ones. I don't know why we have to suffer so. So "why" is a question no one can really answer. I hope you feel better soon. Good luck to you.

i think the problem is that when we commit suicide, God has not prepared a place for us in heaven yet. I know that sounds childish but I read in the bible that when he has prepared a place for us in heaven and is ready for us, he will come and get us.
does that make any sense?
anyways that's one of the reasons I just don't go ahead and off myself cause I don't want to do anything that God has not done on his own. I'm sorry you feel like such a burden to your wife, but sometimes I believe on earth, we do have burdens to bear. Everyone does. and just because you are on the receiving end and she is on the giving end does not make it any worse/better than the other one.
hugz, Please just give her lots of Hugz and let her know she is your angel here on earth.

I get the being overwhelmed by life to a point where you see no way out other than ending it. I have been there a few times myself. Last time I tried to end it, I was told I was lucky I didn't end up either dead or a vegetable. And as horribly shitty and non moving forward as my life is right now, I tend to agree.

I don't have the answer to your situation but I don't think suicide is part of the norm of life. I don't think it's up to us to end it. I think we are supposed to ride this shit out and see where it takes us. Whether or not life crushes our will and our soul along the way is part of the deal. We either have to learn to deal and rise above..in essence, figure out how to live on what some of us feel is a version of hell on earth. Or we let it take us down and suck just about every ounce of life out of us, short of still having a heart beat.

I am not going to go on about my issues here, this is about you but I will say this...for as much fuckery and awfulness that I have going on in my life right now? I would much rather be with someone, have someone by my side - like you do, than be alone and trying to keep it going. Sometimes we do have to look at what is better vs. than not, in order to move forward. Try it. It might help.