then don't try so hard to please others

self-acceptance will ground you and keep you from getting hurt

what exactly did you say to this new friend?

I understand what you're saying; it seems that when I meet people they instantly assume I'm a bitch or one of those "dark, brooding, loner types." I don't know what to do about it. So I'm just alone. But I think there is some truth in accepting and being happy with yourself before others can. I've always hated hearing that, but it seems that people that like themselves are well liked. The only other thing I've tried is to find people like myself to be friends with. It's hard, but there are a few out there.

Totally get you on that score! Somehow the impression given is not a good one, even when we try!
I often being told by people, 'hey you're actually okay', when there first impression of me wasn't very favourable at all. Just makes me wonder what on earth am I doing so wrong?
My body language, what I say? Most people firstly describe me as 'quiet', even when I'm busting myself trying to keep a conversation going and listening and all of that stuff. I'm still described as quiet. So I decided to just accept me the way I am, and like myself that way, because trying to be chatty is just not me.

For those people out there who 'don't know if they can trust..' too bad for them, their loss - honestly!

I take ages to make friends anyway, people have to earn MY trust, (I've been stuffed around too many times now). You just concentrate on liking you.. liking your own company. You may find that people are attracted to you because of similiar interests or experiences, and then a friendship can blossom from common ground.

Hmmm, .. well, the problem is either you or 'these people', I would think. If this seems to be a pattern .. happens a lot with many different people, (and it sounds like it does), you need to examine your presentation or perhaps your expectations. There is, evidently, a frequent misunderstanding going on and perhaps you are communicating something you are not aware of .. with words, expression, or body language.

Otherwise, you are running a bad average on meeting good people.

"I always try to be nice to everyone, understanding, etc"

I have no doubt, but SOMETHING is going on ... make sure it is not something you are doing.

I would just concentrate on liking you and know that what you trying to change are people's perception of you. People look at things through many different lenses depending upon their experiences, feelings about themselves...the list goes on and on. It will make you crazy to always evaluate yourself based upon someone else's perception. When you discover the real you it will be consistently the same and the people who matter will become friends and the rest will go by the wayside. I know it is easier said than done. I struggle with this myself on a regular basis because I want everyone to be happy and like me.

Hi Hamlin,

I know how you feel, I was in a relationship that everyone got along with my significant other better than me & I found myself kind of feeling left out a lot of times & I resented my ex for incouraging their opinion about me subconsiously with our suppose to be friends! I use to worry or wonder what people say about me behind my back & I wanted them 2 like me, but now, I don't really care, cuz people are gonna think what they want to think about you anyway & no matter how nice you are 2 some people, they still don't or won't like us anyway! Plus, it's easier to be liked when you don't care if people like you or not! Just try 2 be yourself & not give a hoot about what they think about you or if they like you or not.

You gotta remember also........Some people only pretend to like you to win over your trust so they can use you. Or....some people only like you if you are doing them a favor or catering to their every need, etc. It goes both ways, but if you can't be yourself around those people, maybe you don't want them to be your friends or you don't need them to like you. Try to cheer up, cuz that's life & get out 2 meet genuine, honest & real people who are considerate & not selfish, etc.

Try to use whatever tools to help you be more content with yourself inside & outside, cuz that's the only thing that should matter to you anyways.

People form their own opinion about you no matter what & some people judge you before u even open up your mouth. So, do your own thing & do you & let them do them. People can be cruel either way. Good luck 2 u.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm feeling better today. I think really accepting myself more is the key. Not really sure how to do that.. LOL... but hopefull i can figure it out.

Thanks again HUGS :)