Think beyond you for awhile. There are so many people that could use your help. Seriously that is probably the best medicine for feeling like you don't matter, is to make yourself matter. I can think of hundreds of places that could use you right now. I worked years of community service that got me through years of feeling like "who would miss me" So offer your hands to an effort in your area. You have skillz you don't even know about yet. I never knew that swimming long distance was learning resilience until recently, that self determination that made me swim 3 miles a day...also helped me pace and organize. So I worked with group outings for families organizing, set up, timing, ....
Right now red cross, and other organizations are gathering goods and usable clothing for the south states , get in there and flex those muscles, meet people that have a "Can do " attitude, take mental notes and use them for you.


Hugs. J.

19 year olds can go through SO much that can get them to the point of how you're feeling. And I am so sorry that you feel the things that you do. Because you have so much life ahead of you and it makes me sad that you are this hurt.
When I was around your age I didn't give a fuck about anything. I was ready to die, but surrounding myself with love and support it got better. And it will get better.
The support on this site is absolutely amazing and we will listen to you when you need someone.

I hear how much pain you are in. And I have definitely been in a similar position, you are not alone. One of the things that helped me the most was reaching out and telling people how I was feeling. I got a lot of support from people, and even though there were some people who where not helpful, I cut them out of my life. I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are loved. You are important. And I am always here to listen if you need anything.
(Hugs)

I have told people how I feel and I just get brushed off and ignored I don't feel loved or important in the slightest way