I can't let them in because I don't think they can truly understand where my head is. I think they truly want to help, but its hard when they don't know. Make sense??

No one really knows I guess. I don't really tell anyone I'm depressed. I stopped doing things I used to love so when friends asked me to "hang out" I would not go. So now no one really asks anymore and I don't have many friends. My family knows I have been depressed but it's a constant state of being for me now. They don't really attempt to "pry" me out of my shell.

Joy - do you wish they would?

And Fly - Why won't you let them in? Because they don't understand? If they love you they would want to understand. Not saying they can fix it, but they can better understand what you're going through.

Sometimes its to complicated for me to understand what I'm feeling, can't communicate what you don't know how to express. I wish I could let someone in. It's quite lonely at this place.

SeekingKnowledge - I used to want them to but I really don't care any more. I actually find a certain level of comfort that people are "drifting" away from me.

At first, I was very resentful. I told them, this is how I deal...back off. A lot of times they wouldn't, but that's also because when I get depressed, I also start SI. My best friend can read me so well, she knows what I need and when I need it. She will ask me to talk to her (my LEAST favorite thing to do when I am upset) and will not leave me alone until I do talk to her. It has become helpful. I didn't let her in all the way in the beginning, but she has never been scared off and has always shown me she will be there no matter what. Now, while I still don't enjoy it, I do find it helpful.

It irritates me because they aren't depressed and don't understand. I try to understand that they are just trying to help but.... The people on this site have helped me more than anyone in my life here. I think it is because you all have been there done that. I wish my Mother were alive I bet she could really be of help to me. She had Clinical Depression. Some times I have to find my own way out of my protective shell.

I think it's great that you can talk to someone who you feel won't judge you. Also Tarum, what's SI mean?

I guess I find it helpful even though they do not understand the problem. It does make me feel better that someone is trying to help.

A lot of Men that have this disease do not like the constant attention because it really affects there pride. I know my family cares, but they constantly ask me how I am doing as it relates to the Depression/Other. Its like another knife in my pride. I started letting my hair grow out. I told everyone that when I get my haircut I will be well.

I dont let people in because I dont trust many people anymore. Most of the time I feel they will betray me or turn their back on me like has happened in the past I am working on that in therapy. I sometimes even feel myself trying to close up to my therapist as well. But she is a really good therapist and pulls me out and gets me talking real quick.

hell yes it bothers me...

i'll come out of it on my own time...

if i want to share my problems, i'll be the decider of that...

I retreat because my family thinks it's just me in a bad mood, or having a bad day. They don't have a clue what it's like to feel true depression - and if they do they ignore it. If I had someone try to pry it out of me not sure I'd share then either - again...they wouldn't get it. They would tell me to go shopping or do something that makes me happy and I'll feel better. Doesn't work that way - and we all know that don't we?

I used to retreat a lot more, and my parents in particular would try to get me out of that state, but a lot of times I would just get irritated and shut down when they tried to do that. In the end I think I appreciated their concern and support, but it made me feel like I was being harrassed sometimes.

How do I feel? First I feel annoyed because I don't feel like doing anything. But if they don't try, I feel alone and like nobody cares. So, I guess you could say I wish for it every day. Instead, they don't come to me. I have to force myself to ask the few people I have around me to keep me busy. They don't understand that that is what helps me the most. Maybe one of these days I'll have the balls to tell someone..."please just give me a hug"