Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Here is an idea of the things I've gone through. Parents divorced when I was 13, my mom had cheated on my dad with his brother. They both got married a few years later and pretty much cast me aside. My father's had no time for me anymore and my mother got married and left the state. My mother got divorced again and my father has been having a hard time in his own marriage. Everyone I've ever trusted, has lied to me. My first girlfriend was raped, my second cheated on me. I've had 4 girlfriends before. My current girlfriend's family, does not like me and most of them have never even given me a chance to even meet me. She has broken my trust because she doesn't know how to open up.
Because of her lies, and my past, it is a hard for me to continue trusting her. She sees this as a red flag. She also puts A LOT of emphasis on the validity her family gives her and most of her decsions are influcenced by her family. I recognize my faults and I am constantly trying to work on them, but nothing is ever good enough. She is the perfect child, and I am the broken guy who no one wants around. What could I do to get her family to give me a chance instead of casting me aside like every other situation in my life.
Here is the advice .... the 'idea' is to be born to loving and capable parents. Many are not. Those that aren't are deprived of nurture, guidance, protection, blah, blah, blah. Without those things, they struggle to get a good start in life. SOMEONE has to teach them a few things. That is what I am trying to do here:
Accept that you are a young person with very little support, guidance, experience, etc etc. It is a fact. MOST of the people you have mentioned just really cannot do you much good for various reasons. Well, .. ok, so what? You ARE where you ARE,
Sooo, realize you are young ... very young .... and the world is a tough place for all of us.
Here is the core of what I am driving at. Let the past go. It's done and is what is was. Clear enough?
In order to make up for what you missed out on, you must now BE EXTREMELY (but responsibly) good to yourself. I will try to explain that in a bit.
Man ... does a 19 yo male want a girlfriend .. or even dozens of girlfriends? I GET THAT!! Fine to have girlfriends ... but when a relationship 'gets serious', it can take some life experience to handle a 'heavy' relationship.
I am suggesting that you just may not have the 'developmental' know how AT THIS POINT. Don't take that as an insult ... for one reason, I could be wrong.
Rather than know you have problems with this girlfriend, I would rather know you have lots of 'friends and none can or does hassle you or be any kind of problem. As you get older, and start centering on YOURSELF .... almost 99%, you will be able to make judgements on what kind of situation you want to be in. Right now, as a young person without a lot of 'Fatherly' advice, you are susceptible to getting into situations that 'get complicated'.
I would like to know that you have a good job, nice apartment perhaps, furnished nicely FOR YOURSELF, drive a 'hot lookin;' car, wear nice clothes (women will salivate for you) and making good all on you own. You don' need no stinkin' past ... you can start your GOOD life right now.
Yeah ... I'm suggesting dumping this girlfriend. She may be hot and whatever, but ..... you are a NEW MAN .... and she is part of the 'OLD' young man.
I say ... let the past go .... it's done ... strip everything down to where it is just YOU AND YOU. Then, .. work hard for YOU, ... be what you want to be. Learn, grow, and get/be wise .... like a fox. Have a good time on the way up, but be sly in putting stuff ahead of YOURSELF. You are becoming a man, without a great childhood. Do a good bit of becoming that man, and THEN have the wisdom to share with someone else.
I hope I have made a little sense and turn on a light in your head.
All may seem radical. We lost the family unit years ago, and we have a LOT of young people victims and don't know how to grow up. Things don't go right and then they get worse.
You NEED an opportunity to become the man you will be ... without any boat anchors around your neck.
You do what you want. Go to school, get a GOOD job, live well, .... or join the Military, .... or WHATEVER IT IS BUT MAKE IT BE FOR YOU.
Good luck, my Man. You get one shot in life. Take yours, and take it well. Create your own 'place to belong' to.