All my life I've always felt a little off, different from everyone else. But let's start off with this last weekend when it got the worst. First my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, it was the worse thing ever and I didn't think It could get worse. Then I had a feeling I was pregnant. I had missed my period by a week and I didn't want to tell him because I was afraid he would say I was just making it up to try to trap him. But I got scared and I went over to his house to try to ask him to take me back or to just be my friend and when he wouldn't I ended up telling him because I was scared. I didn't know what to do.  Well he did exactly what I thought and he laughed at me and called his friend to come pick him up from his house because he said I was being crazy. He made fun of me. I was so hurt. I thought THIS is it this is the worst of it. I was ready to end my life that night but instead I decided to reach out for help. I've always been really private and afraid to bother people with my problems so i didn't really speak to my friends about anything real. Well that night I decided to and I told all 3 of them and I was excited because they seemed really supportive and on my side and were just telling me to forget him and that he was an ass. Well after several tests we conformed it and decided the next morning I would tell him at school and they would come with me because we were afraid he wouldn't listen to me if i did it alone.  So I found him and I said we need to talk we were alone at first because my friends were late and while I was trying to get the test out to show him he tried run away and my friends ended up coming down the hall and stopping him just in time. I showed him and told him that I didn't want him to be the father of my children and that the only reason I was telling him is because I needed help paying for the abortion. Well after that he finally believed me and we talked. I really didn't want to have an abortion and I was trying to find ways to work it out with us so we could stay friends for the baby and not fight all the time. But I also knew I didn't have the resources to give the baby a good life. Well we went to our first doctors visit to confirm that I was pregnant so he would believe me once and for all. It came back positive and that was Saturday. Then that night I was looking through texts on his phone while he had fallen asleep (i was really going through a tough time with it and he let me stay the night so I wouldn't be alone ) and learned that the friends i had told were talking bad about me to him and were already telling other people. He didn't tell me because he wanted me to have friends and not get angry at them  (even though they were saying mean things about him to me and telling me not to talk to him) so this whole time he was really the one that had my back and even though he wasn't being the nicest he told me everything he thought about me even if it was bad. To meThat is alot better than me confiding in my friends only to learn they weren't being good friends. So ya he wasn't being the nicest but he told me everything he thought he didn't lie to me and he wasn't rude about the whole thing he talked to me when i finally showed him the test and he went with me to the clinic and he let me go to his house and he talked to me and he didn't pressure me to get an abortion. Well after I found out i told the girls I had read the texts and that even though I loved them I didn't want to be there friends anymore because I just couldn't trust them. They got angry at me and acted like I made the whole thing up even though I read the texts. That was Saturday night then Sunday everything was kind of just relatively quiet I had blocked the girls from my phone and social media. They had been texting my ex boyfriend the while time and kept saying horrible things about me and him. Now Monday I start hearing that they had told even more people and by Thursday everyone at school knew and my ex and I just kept denying it.  He was getting angry that they were telling people and being mean to me. They had said so many awful things about me and I just kept ignoring it. Thursday though things got bad and I ended up being able to go home early because of all the bullying. Well Friday I had scheduled an abortion and I was so scared but atleast my ex boyfriend was there with me. When she did an sonogram she couldn't find the baby so they took blood and sent me home.this Saturday (today for me ) they called me back and said I just needed to give more blood Monday. Well I think I'm having a miscarriage actually because she did a transvaginal ultrasound Saturday and I started bleeding about 2 hours after. I called them and did some research online and they said that people don't normally bleed after and then online said that in the rare case that they have it's only spotting. I'm having back pain and stomach pains and I've been nauseous and sweaty and light headed all day on and off. Well my ex boy friend is convinced I made my pregnancy up again because he thinks I'm insane I have no friends and while he was trying to be my friend for awhile he says he doesn't want to be anymore. This might seem kind of dumb but I have no one to talk to and I didn't explain the whole situation perfectly.  I just after everything I kept telling my self it couldnt get worse and it just keeps going on and on . I have no friends my ex boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me and I can't talk to my family. I feel so alone .  I wish someone would be here with me. My whole body already hurts and doing this alone makes me feel like I should just die.   No one cares about me and I just honestly feel so dumb for everything .  Life was going so good for awhile my friends and I were good i still had my boyfriend but now everything has fallen apart. I feel run down and just tired of trying to live. What is the point anymore. Everything has been messed up and I an all alone